another missed birthday

happy birthday kells

everything is good for you...

i was starting to obsess about whether zoe still likes me or not, so i read her diary. see what the bitch thinks of me when i publish her entries!

26th November 2005
dear diary,
two good things happened today. firstly, i got to sit on the front lawn for ages after i went walking with court, which was great. i must have done something right, cause i got to eat biscuits with her all arvo.
then when ange came home from work i was reclining on court's bed, while she watched a movie with her new human-male and ange came in and asked if i wanted to eat corn chips and watch texas hold 'em and rage. i was like CORN CHIPS!? hell yeah so i put up with the poker (which she assures me is fuckin' awesome) for the corn chips. bad idea. she had nail sissors cause she was giving herself a manicure and decided to cut chunks out of the back of my hair. so i went to bed.

27th November 2005
me again,
after 2 days of being confused by the actual meaning of the word "unicorn" i think i finally understand what it means. it is either a creature with three eyes or a type of ball used for kicking, much like a soccer ball. my deduction comes from the frequency of the word in association with firstly the sticker that was placed between my eyes this afternoon and the continued action of brushing me out of the way with a foot. so if i am a unicorn, i must be repeatedly kicked, in which case all feet must die. this task will not be nearly as difficult as you have imagined, because feet taste so good and are never out of reach.
first tho, i think i might rearrange the beanbag. it wasnt very comfortable when i watched bewitched this morning. oh that will ferrell. theres a face id like to lick.

The Perfect Man

Hello there,

I Have been thinking it over and I believe that my favorite character on Neighbours has changed......

SHOCK..... HORROR!

For many years I have loved toadfish! He even sang me Happy Birthday for my 18th (thanks to Today-Today and JJJ)....

BUT recently toady has been very boring and annoying. I feel I have moved on to..... JOE MANGEL!


Joe is awesome - he brings some much needed humour to Ramsey Street, he has his obessesions but all round he is a "top Bloke".

This is sad, however, because Joe Mangel left Neighbours on Wednesday Night...
....... BUT! Joe will be back next year! Hooorrrahhh!

Now doesn't that just make your day!
Now I am going to drink beer!

hmm

i had a dream last night that i was trying to buy a double chocolate sundae with crushed vcrumble on top from macca's and they wanted to charge me $21 for it.

any suggestions as to what this means?

welcome me.

we are moving house in 8 days. i wish moving house was as easy as joining a blog.

i was standing in the line at centrelink today and suddenly a guy picked up a chair and started chasing another guy with it. the chair guy was rushed out by centrelink workers and the other was taken out the back, well behind the magical screens.

although i didn't want anyone to get hurt i was a bit disappointed it all ended so quickly and got me thinking that perhaps when there is a big line at centrelink everyone in the line could perform some sort of 'item'. a poem, a monologue, modern contemporary dance piece, that sort of thing. it would surely be more entertaining then just staring at the back of the head of the person in front. it could even be rated by applause and if you were really good you could be awarded a frontage, backage or even go straight to the desk. and if you were bad you would get given 10 -20 forms to fill out and then have to rejoin at the end of the line.

my friend kate and i once were in the centrelink line listening to missy higgins (before she got way popular) on my ipod and were doing some interpretive dance. it's amused us and i reckon everyone else liked it too, except that to them we probably just looked a bit silly because they wouldn't have heard any music.

Now I am Australian!

Now I feel like a Aussie because I rode a kangaroo to Uni.

No explanation needed

If I can work out how to post a picture above you will see the most whack game in the history of whack. Below you can see it being played by cousin it and family

I played this once with Scarface and Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss passed out and Scarface won on a triple word score on mayfair

All Australian Wednesday

Wednesday night we hit up Sakae it was a good opportunity because all the kids learning this funny language, as opposed to it's funny culture, had the week off. Firstly for dinner we (Me, Mark, Krystal, Wes, Chikagi (sp?), and Shota) went to the Outback which is an Australian themed restaurant run by Americans. I finally got some steak in me, and it was awesome, so was the rest of the food, although a little pricey, my bill came to $40. The main event though was heading to the Red Rock (Australian themed bar, where no Australians work) afterwards. As it was Wednesday night a Nomi Hodai (sp?) was going down, which in English means all you can drink from 9-12 for about $22. Our little group was joined by a bigger group from NUFS and a good night was had by all. When it was time to leave, we couldn’t find an open entrance to the subway, after deciding just to suck it up and stay the whole night we drunkenly stumbled upon one and jumped on a train. Unfortunately this train terminated 3 stops before we wanted it too. So we walked around this unknown place deciding again to stay all night (easy to say for people who didn't have class the next day, bastards!) after going to a conbini, and a closed McDonalds we ended up in a diner (many other events happened, but I couldn't be bothered telling you about them) in said diner Krystal decided she wanted to go home, so we caught a cab, about $8 each later we ended up home, safe and sound, yay.

Spiral out! Keep Going!
P.S Sorry about the boring story, but I am really tired at the moment, maybe Mark can tell it a more interesting way.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

hey cheese! thanx for the invite...i am being held captive by middle aged german swingers in the wilderness of lake tarawera. they make me weed the garden & clean everything. fortunately my fellow hostage is very cool danish girl who shares my love for strong coffee & booze...i heard about HIGH SCHOOL REUNION & thought of you - it features indie artists covering songs from the 80's teen movies. frank black does iggy pops 'repo man' & kristin hersh (throwing muses) does the pixies 'wave of mutilation (uk surf)'!!! also songs from pretty in pink, sixteen candles, the breakfast club, fast times at ridgemont high, say anything, repo man. go on, get it...this keyboard is mad öäö§ßü´§...

Ballon Man BY Cheese.

>>TEXT>" Watch Me walk on a Bed of Nails" >><< ' The Impending Doom of Ballon man>>

This is a genius piece of cartooning if I ever saw one! I drew it ...isn't it fantastic... hmm... all I can say is....
Hoorrahhh.

Thankyou bill and Hawkeye for posting. Another Horraahhh for you!

** On a happier note** My dad was bitten by a possum today and had to go and get a tenus shot AND the nurses laughed at him.** Oh how I laugh.

Go and have fun! Now that your Uni work is all done.

Dear KatieCheese,
I would love to.
But I still have four exams (one worth 75%) and a portfolio to go.
In respnse to your email, I would blog, but my head is too full root locii, vibration, instability, and chaos.
And I dont think you want me to start on those.
But... Only 15 more days till it's over for another year! (Damn four year degrees). Hurrah!
Cheers,
Hermit Bill.

Furthering the extent of knowledge through stupidity

?

I'm not one to repeat myself, but

?

If anyone can enlighten me with the answer please leave a comment after the beep

*BEEP*

PS Flushing my toilet appears to cause my internet to crash ( the internet crashes everytime the toilet flushes therefore, etc. The maths is probably too advanced for you. The internet crashing whenever the toilet doesn't flush is irrelevent to the proof). This means that i can only blog if i happen to be up at 3 am when all the grandparents on telstra aren't constantly downloading baby photos and/or porn (not of course in the same file, ewww).

Tales of BDO 2005 to get you in the mood

After not sleeping at all the night before (turning out to be a mistake later on) we drove to Merreweather train station. The announcer at the station was giving us an update every 5 minutes that the train to sydney would arrive in x minutes. Finally the announcer told us that the train had arrived, then warned passangers to get clear of the doors, before announcing that the train to sydney was now departing. The interesting thing about this was that there was no train, or more acurately we had just missed the ghost train. The station manager at this point felt the need to inform everyone that there was no train at platform 1 and do not attempt to board it.
On the train we were discussing which bands we wanted to fight and eventually settled upon slipknot because handily we could challange them in numerical order. At this point we noticed the long haired chap next to us wearing the slipknot shirt, and his mate with a lunchbox full of plastic stuff. Striking up a conversation with him we discovered that he was going to see system of a down and hatebreed. So we asked him "so, are you a slipknot fan?", and he was like "well, maybe a little". Our group of "nerds", "geeks" and "squares" had intimidated him! At this point the train was stopped by the police making us miss frenzal rhomb. The sniffer dog came breifly down our end then left to the obvious relief of mr. lunchbox.
While listening to The Music (the band) i decided to go up front and mosh with all the john buttler fans with their smelly hair. They were very polite and thoughtful as when the ones at the front were given a cup of water they took a sip and handed it over their shoulder, which continued until it got to me where I took a sip and threw the cup over my shoulder and shouted "Mozeltov!" I think this was later justified because one of those stoners fell and grabed my shorts and ripped them from the waistband all the way down.
Grinspoon's bassist had the bright idea of throwing a water bottle high into the crowd. It was when the bottle was 20 meters above us that we realised that when it came down one of us was going to die. The bassist looked on in horror as the crowd scattered. Luckily no water bottles were harmed.
Slipknot came on and demanded that everyone sit down, while those who didn't had bottles thrown at them. Throughout their set i was yelling challanges to them (in sequential order) but none of them showed up at the carpark later on. Despite having 6 surplus members the pussies wouldn't fight me. They did however accidently break a guitar(by trying to spin it around) and a drum kit (by getting on it androcking on it and falling off)
At system of a down i was sprayed so much with hoses that my phone produced psycadelic displays and i was shivering for the rest of the night.
I fell asleep for part of the Beastie Boys set. However i laughed heartily when the boys run around the stage and one of them tried to jump over the keyboard and failed. When the boys were rapping down the gap in the D everyone was trying to touch them. Dylan explained that it was so they could tell their friends they touched a beastie boy. Friends, I have touched a beastie boy. People ask me which one, all i know it was the old one.
After microsleeping through the chemical brothers (which wasn't so bad because i could hear the music in my dreams) we caught the train home. As we were pulling away from the station 3 guys ran down the platform and tried to jump on. Two of them succeded. The fate of the third is best not discussed but involves face and gravel and a 2 metre drop.

More Halloween Party Pictures

English David as Spike from Buffy

The Sailor Scouts.

And Holly as a Bunny.

"It has to start somewhere, it has to start sometime, what better place then here? What better time then now?"

Ride the Spiral

Tales From Japan

Well I suppose I should tell you what I've been up too.

Firstly the Halloween party. I have never been to a Halloween party, but if they are all as good as this then I have been missing out. Well most people dressed up, and there was some really good costumes. I went as local baseball player Fukudome who is popular amongst the exchange students because of his last name (that's right Fuck you! Do Me!). I knew I brought half my uniform over to this country for good reason. Mark's costume was fucking sweet, as the 80s tennis player with high short shorts, sweat bands and a jacket that said fanny on it (fuck yeah). Scariest and funniest costume goes to Ed going as Sailor Moon.

Well we all gathered and took pictures and ate what food there was (they cut up all the apples which were meant for bobbing!!). Then we got into the drinking, and Mark brought down his beefy stereo from his room and moved it into the courtyard. Whacked on the mix tape from the auction and we had ourselves a fucking dance party. I reckon we would have had 40 people dancing, better then any night club, everyone was having a great time. People encouraged other people to get up and dance and they all had fun. I was the only one who got a Chinese girl dancing though, yay me!
Basically it was so good, we are planning another similar party sometime this month. Definitely in top 3 nights here so far.

Friday night, well it was a good night, Hew is a funny bastard when he's drunk. Nispah.

Sat afternoon Baseball practice with the University club, these cats can play, definitely a higher level then myself, although I try to hold my own as best I can. Batting was a bit of nightmare again, their pitches don’t give you any freebies that’s fore sure. Also they crank up that automatic pitching machine and put it really close to the plate, by the time I got my eye in my turn was over. I will be patient, I don’t usually train like this in Aus, so I think I will catch up soon enough.

Sat night we went out to a Korean restaurant with Teho excited to be taking us to a place where we can taste his homelands food. The food was fucking hot and spicy, that's all I can say, it was nice but fucking hot and spicy. The main thing was that we ordered all you can drink for an hour and a half. Man I think they were sorry they ever saw the likes of us, we aren’t any Japanese lightweights. I had 10 drinks, I think Hew and Matt and Teho had the same, don’t know how many John and Mark had, and Krystal, but they had a few, Wes won with 12 though. (Note: I really think these drinks were watered down, 10 drinks in an hour and a half would usually have me on the floor).
So in our happy state we caught the series of trains and buses which is the norm, back to a party at Ben's place at Proxy, seemed like fun although I didn’t stay very long cause I had to get up for baseball at 6:30 the next day.

Next day, after getting up really early I headed off to the game with Yuusuke (this is a local team I have joined not the university club, I think I may have joined 3 teams since coming to Japan.) Well in short we lost 7-4, I didn’t play badly just not super like I think they were expecting after last weeks performance, I didn’t make and error, but I only hit 1 from 3 (batting is fucking getting to me over here, if you don’t hit the rubber ball square in the middle you just get out, also Japanese pitchers throw shit load more curves then in Australia, come on you pussies through me one down the middle). That was their last game of the season, and I think could be my last game over here. Well I enjoyed the experience, thanks guys.

Then we went to Teho’s and watched Mystic River, good moofie, I liked it. Then dinner, and then I’m pretty much writing a blog.

Well there’s an update.

Spiral..Ride...etc.

if you guess what this is a picture of, you win it :)

the story of buttons

the other day, whilst successfully procrastinating, i decided to clean the lismore clay/ocre off my cosmetics bag (which has stained it for the past 3 months) when i peered inside the apparently empty bag, i found a french 2 euro cent piece. strange? not really i did have that bag with me on my trip to france. but it got me thinking, where the hell is my button collection?
i searched for (quite literally) hours and gave up thinking that i must have put it somewhere in my mums sewing room.
on searching for this photo of me dipping jo 20 mins later i found my button collection and have now moved it to a very quaint, heart-shaped tin that i got from a chocolatier in germany.
Moral: the tin needs more buttons (in the australian sense of the word, in case anyone thought that it was a badge collection) so if anyone finds/looks for/accidently pulls off/intentionally pulls off any buttons, i would gladly accept them.

also, farewell marty. i bid you "chalk" as you step out into the wide, consumerist world. GO CHARLESTOWN LIBRARY! oh, i cant wait till your 21st! neither can kiggles. we were talking about it over oysters yesterday.

and, i hereby propose that everyone take to lymeric writing. it's therepudic and simple. heres one i prepared earlier:
there was an old man named Snort
who was summoned to sit in the court
he yelled out, "Set!"
when the ball hit the net
(he was never a novice at sport).

ich freue mich auf's naechstes mal.
hatter.

Dear Bloggers,

Now I have some words of wisdom:
Go and have fun! Now that you Uni work is all done. Horrrah!
Cheers,
Cheese

BTW. Please feel free to BLOG when your drunk - Mittens that post was very funny. Who is Audrey?

p.s - those of you not blogging i will email you and MAKE YOU BLOG about JELLY!!!!!

Oh Mark! How Can I Thank Thee

Oh Mark! How Can I Thank Thee? For letting me in...I know, I will blog you a thank you. When I'm drunk, why Not? Because I wouldn't do it while I was sober, ho ho he he.

Well Thank you, I thank you this much. Imagine that my arms were outstretched when you read this. Oh, and I hope the goodnight from Audrey made it all better, although you didnt say anything and pretty much turned around and dissed us and went to bed. But that doesnt mean we dont love you, or even hate you. No. What would give you that idea, ho ho he he. Well I'm going to have some water now, probably see you in a few days, good luck with that ball boy, hope he doesnt have flys eyes or whatever, ho ho he he.

Public Announcement # 1

Dear Bloggers,

By joining this site you get to hear about HARRY POTTER!!

I recieved an email today telling me to BUY Tickets to the movie that comes out in less than a months time! CLick: Harry Potter is Way Cool to find out MORE!



Is everyone looking forward to December? I am!
Bring it on!
1st of December: Harry Potter
3rd December: HOMEBAKE! And I get to miss the Costigan Christmas akward bonanza ( Step-family Chrstmas! - Sorry Joconut - you shoudl come to Homebake - or stay at Dave's house to escape)
After the 3rd I get to see Harry Potter again IN GOLD CLASS! Whoooo hoooo!

Then It is Christmas-tastic! I am already excited by the decorations!
Christmas: 25th!
26th: Chronicals of Naria! It looks really good! Horrahhh! More movies!

Okay! im a bit excited!
Cheese.

Google Magic

Wondering what I have accomplished so far in my life, I googled my own name. If my great-grandkids were to travel in their timemachine to the present day and googled my name, then they would find 7 results in googol Australia: (in order):

1: Australian University Games 2005 - This is me.
2: First Families Search Results - This is me if I was a convict sent to Victoria in yee olde days
3: East Coast Miniatures - Apparently I was ranked 622nd in 2004 for 40k battles. I didn't know this, and I am slightly disturbed that they have my name on their site (suggest legal action)
4: East Coast Miniatures - 589th for sportmanship (Evil Lincoln was 590th HaHa),
5: East Coast Miniatures - 625th for painting (even though only one or two of them would have had paint on them at the time - so how did i beat anyone?)
6: East Coast Miniatures - 637th overall.
7: 2004 U6C, D and E - No idea. It may be some bigpond tracking device trying to turn up all of my secrets so that I can never run for the presidency.

So there it is. Why don't you waste your time too and see what your pitiful life has amounted to.

The wrath of CORN

As my grandfather used to deny, today is not a good day to die
Here is a surefire strategy for you, noone defeats the yellow pikachu
Go CORN early and go CORN often, if you can't, get the stones you know you want them
No other tactic is its equal, soon you'll be master of Peurto Rico
If not at least you'll have some CORN

PS Why CORN and not corn? ask my left budgie I'm dissinterested