Charlie's words of Wisdom

Charlie is in his seventies, short, italian. Quite italian, really. And he has a brother who owns a lot of property in chicago....

1. Ladies, you're beautiful now. But then you go and get fat and wonder why your husbands leave you.

2. Never carry a purse in your handbag. It's too easy to steal. Instead, keep it down your bra. Noone will steal it from there. (and I'm sure checkout chicks like bosie sweat. Oh yeah)

3. Don't give money to poofters, as they will spend it on poofter things (what they are, and why they are different from anyone elses things, I don't know)

4. I apparently don't fight with the lad because "He is big, but you are small - but smart, eh?" (I would like to see him try and beat me up. Screw the Queen of Marksbury!1)

5. Beer is not good for your liver. Scotch, however, is fine.

eh. thats enough wisdom, for now.although, a note from my mother-"but you've got a bloke - you should be losing weight, not putting it on" 2
strike a blow for liberal thinking everywhere!

1. or even the marquis of queensbury, but i like doyle's version better.
2. in all fairness, this is out of character. and it was more a result of observations about young women, as opposed to an expectation.

AND I DON"T LIKE SEEING MY NEIGHBOUR NAKED