Shootout copy

hello Shootout

Here is a selection of the Best (or Worst) Computer Game box artwork covers.
See all 25 at:

http://au.pc.ign.com/articles/776/776398p1.html

(Crude Alert... Only Suitable for Janet) You know that with a nane like Trevor McFur, you are going to get a lot of pussy.


Space Battles with yokles? You bet!


And this one is for our favourite EMO. Heres to you Christoph...

New Blogger

I dont know if anyone else is having this problem, but it seems that Blogger has been bought by google, so we need to all transfer our accounts to a google account or something, I did this and now I cant comment, it seems that Cheese has to transfer her account for it all to be hunky doory (or however you spell that). Anyways, I would like to comment I really would :-P but I cant.

Anyway here is a funny comic strip for anyone who played The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, which I think is me, and possibly Marty, so the rest of you, I'll put another funny cat pic with a caption.



Have a good one

Tim

Ooh La La!

Hello to those people who still read this thing.

College is a little boring, a lot of the interesting people have left.

Anyway, here are some photos if you want to look at them:
http://www4.snapfish.com.au/share/p=30911172794622789/l=230654440/g=80383989/cobrandOid=1024/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

However, the guy who took the photos of me in Cuba, has made me look like a mental kid. I swear, the sun was in my eyes in all of the photos...

In other news, I am shaving off my beard today... Too long have I looked like Ned Kelly...

Also... A free invitation to anyone who wants to visit me, and sleep on my floor, before uni work steps up a notch in the next few weeks.

See you all hopefully soon, sorry I missed you Tim but I had really bad Jet Lag.

Cuba

It is the end of my Stint in lovely Costa Rica... on to Cuba and many photo's of me pretending to look like Che.

Hottest 100 Voting

Heya guys, well I just voted, I'm just wondering what songs everyone else voted for, and what songs you reckon will make the top 10?

well here's what I voted for:

AFI - Miss Murder
Butterfly Effect - A Slow Descent
Peeping Tom - Mojo
Pendulum - Tarantula
Placebo - Song To Say Goodbye
Tool - The Pot
Tool - Vicarious
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion
Pearl Jam - Worldwide Suicide

...let the hatin' begin.

I reckon 'dont feels like dancing much' or whatever will be up there, also Smile by Lily. Other then that I'm just hoping one of my songs makes it in the top ten, and at least 6 are in the top 100.

Cheers, Nispah.

Schnoogans.

Thought for the day.

Ok, I haven't posted on Jelly for a while, and this really doesn't count because it has as much substance as one of Kate's of Caldie's (just kidding guys).

Today's thought for the day is really directed at the Toff, because we all know he wants to be one...



Schnoogans! Nispah!

slow connection.......a family email i have just copied cause i am lazy

Hello from San Vito
The Fiesta has begun, and runs until the 2nd, so lucky for us, work has been suspended on the aquaduct. (Other projects have not been so lucky – But I will be working behind the bar, the local brew Imperial tastes pretty good).
The people in the town are very nice. The layout and feel is similar to Springfield in Northern Ireland. If you can´t find Bello Oriente on the map, its close to Agua Beuna, Copo Beuna, Campo Dos or Campo Tres (sic).
Very beautiful. Nice people. Wnet to a party last night for a young boy who finished primary school. Ate some excellent pork cooked over a wheel-rim BBQ.
It appears that in Costa Rica, it is normal to walk your farm animals, be they pig or cow, by a leash down the main street of town on the weekend. (Notably one of them was walked to the slaughter house… see above).
Will return to Australia with Diabeties. Costa Ricans really know how to make great desserts and ice creams. It doesn´t help that we live near a sugar cane farm.
Starting to think in spanglish.
Feliz Navidad
James

Bizarro Kells

JAMES KELLS

Professor and Extension Weed Specialist
Department of Crop and Soil Sciences Michigan State University

I'm a Pretty Girl!

Farewell Good Buddy
Fast and Bulbous be thy journey

Che (...it means friend)

I leave on Monday 4th of December, bound for adventure and comminist climes.

Adios to you all untill I return well into the new year.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (Break into Fort Scratchleys again, and I will say a toast to you all as the sun rises on my side of the world).

James W.C Kells



Also...
Happy Birthday to Cupitt and Gibbo plus anyone else... I will bring you back a Cuban Cigar.

I have one last purchase i will need to buy when in Cuba, so in the immortal words of Batman,

"You sold a pre atomic submarine to someone called P.N.Guin, who didn't leave their whole street address"

Merry Christmas... I mean Jelly Christmas

Scrubs

After careful viewing, I believe that so far the best scrubs episode is season 2 'His Story'. We have...

* Dr Cox Narration
* J.D Running around in circles with sparklers everytime Turk asks Carla to marry him.
* The Janitor climbing down a lift shaft to annoy J.D
* J.D singing 'Everybody was Kung-fu fighting' while Dr Cox's therapist calls him the smartest man in the hospital.

and my favourite

COX: "Alright, try this one on for size. No matter where you go in life, always keep a lookout for Johnny the tackling alziemers (sic) patient"

J.D: "Whats that supposed to mean?"

Johnny the tackling alziemers (sic) patient: "Whooo ammmm I??????"

J.D: "Arggg" (as he is talked from behind by Johnny)

The Big J.E.J

Make sure you watch this video,... just ignore the ads on the webpage.

It is James Earl Jones voice for his other movies, but as the one and only Darth Vader.

This video is dedicated to the shirt that Cheese gave me for my birthday.

http://www.abum.com/show/7831/darth_vader.html

Thought of the Day

A truck and a plane leave from Newcastle and Sydney respectively. The truck, Optimus Prime is travelling at 110km/h. The plane, Starscream is travelling due north at 200km/h. If you were sitting in Optimus Prime's cabin, and you change the radio station presets, is this a form of sexual harassment that should be reported to the relevant authorities? (I dunno, the Mechanics Association).

Australia says no.

Which is the best international lineup for a bdo?

2007
Tool
Muse
Violent Femmes
The Steets
The Killers
My Chemical Romance
Peaches & Herms
Trivium
Lilly Allen

2006
THE WHITE STRIPES
IGGY & THE STOOGES
FRANZ FERDINAND
KINGS OF LEON
THE MARS VOLTA
HENRY ROLLINS (spoken word)
THE MAGIC NUMBERS
MUDVAYNE
THE GO! TEAM

2005
BEASTIE BOYS
CHEMICAL BROTHERS
SYSTEM OF A DOWN
THE MUSIC
THE STREETS
SLIPKNOT
HATEBREED
THE HIVES
POLYPHONIC SPREE

2004
METALLICA
MUSE
THE DANDY WARHOLS
BLACK EYED PEAS
THE DARKNESS
KINGS OF LEON
THE STROKES
THE MARS VOLTA
THE FLAMING LIPS
PEACHES
FEAR FACTORY

2003
DEFTONES
QUEENS OF THE STONEAGE
MURDERDOLLS
PJ HARVEY
SPARTA
WILCO
FOO FIGHTERS
KRAFTWERK
THE MUSIC
JANES ADDICTION

2002
The Prodigy
Garbage
New Order
NOFX
Jurassic 5
System of a Down
The White Stripes
Peaches
The Tea Party
Tomahawk

2001
AT THE DRIVE-IN
BLACK EYED PEAS
COLDPLAY
HAPPY MONDAYS
LIMP BIZKIT
MUDVAYNE
PJ HARVEY
PLACEBO
QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE
RAMMSTEIN

2000
ATARI TEENAGE RIOT
BLINK 182
THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS
FOO FIGHTERS
NINE INCH NAILS
PRIMAL SCREAM (Aust.only)
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

1999
ASH
FATBOY SLIM
KORN
MARILYN MANSON
SOULFLY

1997
SOUNDGARDEN
THE OFFSPRING
THE PRODIGY
FEAR FACTORY
SUPERGRASS
LEMONHEADS
PATTI SMITH
APHEX TWIN

1996
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
THE PRODIGY
BILLY BRAGG

1995
MINISTRY
PRIMAL SCREAM
OFFSRPING
SCREAMING TREES

1994
SOUNDGARDEN
THE RAMONES
BJORK
SMASHING PUMPKINS
PRIMUS

1993
IGGY POP
SONIC YOUTH
MUDHONEY

1992
NIRVANA
VIOLENT FEMMES

For Tim and Caldy and the Gods of Procrastination

I was in the city the other day, and despite the hoards of smelly little kids, I couldn't resist the temptation of buying the Eldar codex - I am truly a nerd.

Despite what some people are saying, this is a big rewrite. Two new units, one new psych power, changes to unit classifications, powers and abilities. Generally speaking I don't think any Eldar player is going to field the exact same force that they used to field before, even though all of the old craftworlds can still be constructed with this codex (although I have lost my 3 extra Farseer's and augment power... it looks like the days of my Seer Council are over). applause from Tim and the Gibbo's

Some of my favourite changes include:

1: The Avatar has more close combat attacks... and a gun.
2: The Wraithlord has fewer close combat attacks... and a sword.

Go Figure.

More details can be discussed when I crush you with my revamped list when I get back to newy.

if it means anything to you

Set 1 Release, Rearviewmirror, Severed Hand, Corduroy, World Wide Suicide, Animal, Marker In The Sand, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Given To Fly, I Got Id, Daughter/(W.M.A.), Big Wave, Grievance, Wasted Reprise, Better Man, Do The Evolution
Encore 1 Man Of The Hour, Nothingman, Gone, Black, Alive
Encore 2 Go, Why Go, Throw Your Hatred Down, Rockin' In The Free World

didnt i hear even flow? all awesome songs. they come out and do a sit down set for encore 1 and then after gone say "we're changing plans, screw tommorow night" and proceed to rock out. best concert i will ever see

One for Kells. And Cawdy. And Jelly.

I miss Dr Who.

I was very upset when the series ended, I though that I wasn't going to like David Tenant BUT he was great.

The series started off really slow but was brilliant from the Satan's Pit double. The series was great, however, when it combined two of my favorite things - ELO and 'Elton' (that guy from The Hustle)!

Our Jelly Pet

adopt your own virtual pet!

Dead, but still killin'

I think it is time for a case study into how much God and Jesus loved Halo (and Halo 2 of course). Basically, the big-man's love can be seen in his commandments that he handed down to man. Here I have included them, with God's clarifications on how they really related to Halo.

1. Do not worship any other gods – Halo is the only one for you baby!
2. You shall not make for yourself any graven image – No guessing what the Master chief looks like.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain – No smack-talking against The Guardians, when they totally Pwn your candy-arse! r0x0rs!
4. Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy – This day is not for girlfriend or family or uni work, but for Halo.
5. Honor your father and your mother – For they let you borrow the huge LCD to play with.
6. You shall not murder – (God’s just fuckin’ wit’ his enemies here!)
7. You shall not commit adultery – Cause you won’t have time for Halo!
8. You shall not steal – Thou shall respect your superior teammates, not taking their rocket launcher/shotgun/sniper. It's plasma pistol for you n00b!
   
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor – For he brings his LCD and four Controllers!
10. You shall not covet – You should have taken the tank first, n00b!

Finally how that guy with the beard loved Halo. Well there's a passage in the bible (somewhere towards the back, I think) that reads:

"...and, yay, Jesus did exit the green room in Lockout, where Judas was waiting for him with a shotgun. "You fuckin' campin' bitch!" Jesus exclaimed. "It's a legitimate strategy" Judas responded. And Jesus did release the plasma grenades, and he did stick the entire red team, which consisted of 10 players ('cause he's Jesus!), and he did win CS again for the 777th time in a row. And for just a moment, the snowflakes in Lockout did turn to doves, and there was much rejoicing. And there was much feasting upon the goat, the carp, the anchovy, the orangutan…”

Clearly I have made my point, and I have too much time on my hands...Nispah

Tim

Ride the spiral.

yay

Cool video guys, feel the love

I luv yas all. Nispah!

You just know what that grin's about.

Brain, Basketcase, Athlete, Princess and Criminal Dancing...

"I'm for Genaro's, but what do I know? I'm a bear! I suck the heads off fish!"

-Sorry people I couldn't find the proper Genaro's bear

yay for rolling stones...

why boys shouldn't wear tight jeans....

How to lose a girlfriend in one easy step

1. arrange to meet at a nice restaurant

2. show up wearing this



3. who needs armani when you have ATARI!

4. refrain from asking people to touch your joystick

5. "By the way, I also like Doctor Who"

6. watch as she runs screaming from the room

7. reassure other diners that it wasn't the food, that she was just realising that different coloured m&ms actually taste the same

close it. yes thats right. you know you want to

apparently this stage was built for an opera on a lake but it seems too good to be true. what do you think, is it real?

Nice Photo

C: Plus some bloke trying to strangle her...

Keep it Poppin'

Here's just a silly post to keep this blog moving. It's a high school band performing the halo 2 theme at a talent show, it's most cool. Just follow this link:

http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/clips/halo-theme-performed-at-hi%20gh-school-talent-show-200382.php

Enjoy.

Tim

He Speaks!

Well hello there kids of the netherworld,
How the hell is ya'll?
Im breaking my elongated hybernation on blogger purely cause im jelous everyone else gets to talk to kells and i dont.

So here goes, first off NICE SUIT KELLS.
You knows i love a good suit
Cawldy wrote a song yesterday that ryhmed Orange with Lozinge and Silver with Wilbur, and also mentions the fact that Sammy Cahn (the guy who wrote "let it snow", notorious rhyme nazi) Sucks.
Needless to say, with my punk alt acoustic guitar and a 3 part harmony, it is the best song in the world.
if i can figure out how i'll post it here somewhere for all you kids with broadband.
For all those with Dialup... GETTA JOB.

Speaking of which i have sold my soul to SATAN and am about to embark on a fruitful career in telemarketing. Yep.

ME: Would you liek some wine sir?


Cust: You f**king son of a bitch, you whore, Im going to f**king kill you you f**kwit F**k offf f**k f**k f**k you stupid little prick get a real job and leave decent people alone to eat there dinner.


ME: So.... No


Cust: F**k.



And then i guess i'll start pretending to be an indian.



Cust: Hello?

Me:...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................Halooyouhavewonaspectacularprizeofeitheracameraorafreeholidayallyouhavetodoisanswerafewquestionsregardingyourageheightandwetherornotyouareanazithenwemayprosideok?

so yeah, funtimes.

Question for the kells monster. You still coming home sunday. Lets meet up for dinner drinks or somethin and you can fill us in on your crazy adventures in South London.
That is if your not TO GOOD for your old friends.



Well...thats all i got

Maybe i'll write again

MAYBE!!!!!

MT

II AM HERMITBILL

Apparently, hermits are discreet, and eschew company.
I therefore feel like a little bit of a fuckup.
So, in order toindulge in some non-indiscreetness...


so, kells.

Nudge nudge. Wink wink. What's the story?

Evillincoln is also bitching about your lack of cohesive story-telling.

SPILL!

love,
Hermitbill

Pick the Seppo (Actually they all are...)

O.K, there was some confusion about who is who on Friday night, so let's play a game:

Match the faces (1,2,3) with the names (A,B,C). The first person to answer correctly will win a mystery prize!

Good Luck....

1: Myself looking dapper, with mystery woman #1

2: Mystery woman # 2, with the real Mike Cran. (This guy downloads rap beats, then freestyles over the top of them... He has been banned from playing his music within College grounds).

3: A very artistic shot... Will search for a better photo.

Names:

a) Amy

b) Kitty

c) Megan

Bonus points will be awarded for creativity. Good Luck.

I'm back! Baby.

After a short hiatus the monkey is back on jelly (well I didn't think I was fully rehabilitated, but I guess they needed the extra bed). I can promise you more Futurama quoting, more tool lyrics, and more incomprehensible jokes that no one gets apart from me (and maybe Lincoln).

To Kells, and other Red Ballooners, I have completed a compilation DVD of all Red Balloon Productions' films. With a very special Red Balloon Productions menu (ok, not that special). If you would like a copy, please give me a blank 2 hr DVD-R (I think), like Dyl did, and then just keep waiting for me to get off my ass, like Dyl is.

Well, strangely I can't think of much else to say... So I'll just leave you with a Futurama quote and some tool Lyrics.

Ride the spiral.

Tim.


Fry: Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate, but then you start to get tired of it because it always wants to hang-out with you and stuff?
Amy: Huh? You don't like chocolate?
Fry: Will chocolate just let me finish?

" Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position...Such a heavy burden now to be the one...Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending."

Also...

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FOX POEM?

I am a Helpful Hermit!

I performed a task today that I am sure will improve the Creativity of my Workspace.
Or, more to the point, I cleaned the tea-room microwave.
Well may you scoff!
HA-HA, how does that help?!
Let us explore this matter further.
This morning, I was in the office for 10 minutes in between being in the dungeon and in a meeting. In that time, two people near me had an 8-minute long conversation about the state of the microwave (and how it wasn't their fault, as they only heated things with lids, and how disgusting is it, and it's not my fault).
Last Friday, I was aware (and i was only the office for a short amount of time, t<1 hour, as I was, once again, in the dungeon) of three other people (along with the two from today) also complaining about the state of the microwave. Unfortunately, as I was quite busy, I neglected to time them. (Whereas today I was waiting for my *&^%$^& computer to start).

It took me less than five minutes to clean it this afternoon.
Admittedly, it took quite a lot of spray'n'wipe, but now my coworkers will have to extend their imaginations to find some other petty, easily remedied problem to bitch about.

Tim wants you to know tool tours in january

ROSETTA STONED
All righty then... picture this if you will...
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"

then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty elron hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"

so light in his way, like an apparition, that he had me crying out...
"fuck me! It's gotta be the dead head chemistry. (the) blotter got right on top o' me. Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!


and after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!

Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes. Don't even know what that means. Must remember to write it down.
This is so real. Like the time Dave floated away. See, my heart is pounding. cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.

It was so real. Like I woke up in wonderland. all sorta terrifying. I don't wanna be alone while I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real. Finally it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.


You believe me don't you? Please believe what I've just said. See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head. see they took me by the hand and invited me right in. then they showed me something. I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Can't remember what they said. God damn. Shit the bed.
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position...
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending.
to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen. Shit the bed again. Typical.


Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Sun kissed and Sudafed Gyro scopes and infrared
won't help. I'm brain dead. Can't remember what they said.
God damn. Shit the bed.


Can't remember what they said to me.
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero.
Can't remember what they said.
Bob help me.
Can't remember what they said.


We don't know and we won't know.
God damn shit the bed.

The week that was... By popular demand...

- By James W.C. Kells [Current Bass player for Pyschotron (?)]

Monday: ADS meeting. Decided that the DLC "Conception Day T-Shirts" (Think Autonomy Day, But with 'Youth Group' and 10,000 other people) would be in (very specific) 'Highlighter-Pink' with the slogan 'Get it out, and get it angry' and 'Drop bears, consuming Seppo's since 1971'. *

Tuesday: Finished some assignments.

Wednesday: Went to the Ranch (the locally (and only) Bar). Some dancing involved - I hate dancing.

Thursday: Playboy party at the Sam Bar. Megan slicked my hair back for the event. The Dutch Girls said it looked good, but I still had a nagging feeling that I felt a little like Max Long. Before going out Kitty my neighbour (Yes that is her real name), came into my room to use my mirror.

Int. Night: Room 344
Kitty walks in wearing noting but a see through negligee

Kitty
"Do I look hot in this?"

James
"Ahh, yes…"

Kitty
"I mean would you fuck me if I was wearing this"

James
"…"

Kitty
"I think I will wear this tonight"

James
"…"

Int. Night: Very Cold Shower

James
"…"

Friday: Saw "Snakes on a Plane" - MUST SEE MOVIE!! "I am tired of this god-dam plane, and I am tired of these god-dam mother f*cking snakes!" Journeyed to the Observatory on Campus with Suzanne and Amy. Wanting to be ready to go out latter, they were wearing dresses and high-healed shoes. Rain, a large pile of mulch, and a lack of direction caused some adventures. After returning to civilisation went to 'Lacita' (sic) in the city, a South American dance club, for Carlos's birthday. Much close dancing and Sangria involved - I like dancing **. Caught taxi home with Amy at approx. 4pm, she was basically out of it. I felt for her as she had to leave DLC at 8am to go to the Blue Mountains ***.

Saturday: Went to Glebe markets, ate some sushi and watched I Heart Huckabees. Accidentally locked myself out of my room. Tried to blame the messy state of my room on nihilist bedroom terrorists. Currently bean bag balls are migrating down the corridor at an alarming rate. I am not sure where they came from, but I blame a mixture of illegal drugs, alcohol and the Indian boyz that live at the end of the hall.

Sunday: Field trip to Narrabeen for GEOS115. Looked at sand deposits and some fossils for 3.5hours. A little boring, but returned to collage with a lot of paperweights.


Added Notes to consume at your leisure:

* Also Kitty decided to have sex in the hallway outside my door. Slightly disturbing as my door was open at the time.

** Yep - That’s all you're getting (…and me I feel…)

*** Just discovered she actually threw-up on the bus ride there, very funny especially if you have seen SNAKES ON A PLANE!

The question on everybody's lips:

WELL, KELLS?

What is your website worth?

I dont like jelly : $27 (maybe i could sell it and buy a cd?)
The wonderful world of cheese: $77 (good going kate)
and my blog my evil plan: $0 (well im not really suprised)
For comparison i looked up google.com which has a worth of
wait for it
$14409
Yes even though its shares are worth $80 the website is worth less than a new corolla
So I rechecked it and i got a new valuation of google.com : $14543, and it remained at that value for all subsequent checks. So i thought to myself, ill recheck cheese's blog to see if i get a different answer. which i did.
$20352
Cheese's blog is officially worth more than google

Ned and Neighbours

I hate ned on Neighbours.... he is spoiling a GOOD QUALITY AUSTRALIAN drama!

Books for Ladies

So, I was in the library earlier, looking for some lighter than light reading, thinking that maybe, yes, I would borrow some "women's fiction" because it's like chocolate for the brain. Well..... maybe not chocolate. Maybe marshmallows. (Anyway, some women's fiction is quite okay. As long as you don't think about old ladies' writing sex scenes. It just gets seamy.) Anyway, looking for some light reading, so I'm canvassing the paperback section, when what do I find, complete with lurid cover? Vampire Highlanders.
What, they bite your neck, and stop the bleeding with their plaid? How is that sexy?
Besides, I thought Scots were allegedly sexy due to their rugged, ultramanly manliness. Which kind of makes an interesting dichotomy, given that I always thought vampires were much more... well, pansies.
Who, admittedly, could rip your arm off with their feet, but that's beside the point.
Needless to say, I borrowed The Pirates! In an adventure with Ahab instead.

Random Comments to make Tim Jelous: 1

Random Comments to make Tim Jealous: 1

Today I met a Japanese student staying at the college called Tetsuya. He arrived with 17 other students to learn English in Australia. Unlike his classmates he didn't sit huddled in the corner, but in broken English he handed out photographs of himself with his name and email address on the back. I thought this was very cool (I have a limited edition surveying the Tai coast on a cold day Tetsuya masterpiece). After talking to him for a while, he saw I was wearing my Fidel Castro jacket with the Japanese writing. His translation was "those are some letters, but that makes no idea".

But to the point, He asked me "you like Japanese grls? I talk with them to you"

Hypothetical Situation:

This friend of a friend of mine liked a person of the opposite sex.

1. Is it o.k. if you didn't make an obvious 'move' on them, after talking to them for a good 2 to 4 hours?

2. Is it good that they also seem to have a desire to talk to you the next day when next you meet in the shopping centre?

3. Is it good that their idea of fun is to go to the contemporary museum in the city?

4. What is a 'move', what makes it so 'obvious', and could 9 out of ten 'meeples' tell the difference?

Signed,
Random person trying to sell products on the internet.


P.S
I live in room 344 - 3 East, aptly nicknamed 'the Ghetto'.

All about me!

This is a floorplan of my room (Note: Not to scale)

Also to Caldie, I am speaking from the other side... wooo...wooo... (other scary ghost sounds etc...).

Now i must leave to go to the common room and drink free beer.. Cheers!

cheesy

hey guys add katie cheese she needs more friends!

www.myspace.com/cheeseishere

unfair spongebob accusations

the fundamentalist christians have done it again




they have turned spongebob's head upside-down so that it looks like erect male genitalia (allegedly) just so they can poo-poo the poor sea sponge's awesomely outstanding good name. i feel sorry for the little kiddies of these crazy (obviously bored) individuals who are being denied their daily after school dose of under-sea good humour :(

for the full story go here
www.landoverbaptist.org/ news0403/spongebob.html

unfair spongebob accusations

the fundamentalist christians have done it again




they have turned spongebob's head upside-down so that it looks like erect male genitalia (allegedly) just so they can poo-poo the poor sea sponge's awesomely outstanding good name. i feel sorry for the little kiddies of these crazy (obviously bored) individuals who are being denied their daily after school dose of under-sea good humour :(

for the full story go here
www.landoverbaptist.org/ news0403/spongebob.html

sufjan

say it 5 times, slowly.
sufjan.
not only beautiful, but moving (and not to be too shallow, but he's hot too check it out:
)

this man's music makes me happy and sad all at once, transports me to chicago and makes me believe that i really am anywhere but here. i cant thank him enough.

and remember kids, no matter what google image search tells you, this:

is not sufjan, but in fact ziggy stardust

"here am i sitting in a tin can
high above the world
planet earth is blue
and there's nothing I can do"

*guitar solo* der der der der der da deh deh! YEAH!

not

"And I cried myself to sleep last night
For the Earth, and materials, they may sound just right to me
Even with the rest belated, everything is antiquated
Are you writing from the heart?
Are you writing from the heart?"

how random is ipod shuffle???

the other day i thought to myself "i'm in a depeche mode mood. but i really can't be arsed with all that button pressing & wheel turning" so instead i clicked on shuffle (actually 'brani casuali' - archimedes is italian at the moment). out of over 4000 songs he chose to play depeche mode!

and that's not all. even though none if my music is sorted into genres (i don't like to categorise that way) archimedes often chooses similar sounding tunes, he looooves playing me long lists of raucous grrrly music.

he sometimes follows a song with another that has a connection - like yesterday he played the breeders then the kelley deal 6000 straight after!

if i'm thinking about a certain person he'll play something that they loved or that totally relates to how i feel about them.

i can't tell you how many hours i have spent pondering this question. has anyone had similar experiences? or are me & my love just so in tune that we are becoming one?

The New Inventor

Is James Kells moonlighting as James Bradfeild Moody on ABC TV's "The New Inventors"???

Black and White

Nazis with jet-packs are uberslick

Da Vinci code needs a poke up the arse with a (muffled).

Seriously.
I was excessively disappointed.
After all the hype, I somewhat belatedly read The Da Vinci Code. And yes, I was expecting it to read something like a Matthew Riley book - all action, no thought provocation.
I wasn't expecting it to be the most stimulating books around, but I thought it might live up to the hype in a sort of blockbuster way - all bash and no brain.
I cannot begin to explore the levels of shiteness of this (and I would've gone for something intellectual, but I'm getting all worked up) so I'll settle for shiteing shiteness.
It may have been provocative - except he made a reasonable amount up, and what wasn't made up was based on what other people had made up. The writing style! (Apologies to all those who have already heard me rave). Each chapter attempted to be a cliff hanger - read: each chapter was horribly, utterly disjointed.

Rat Scabies and the quest for the holy grail was much better.
How much better?
Bout a fousand!
No.
Bout a googleplex.
No more bestsellers for me.

Nazis with jetpacks: are they cool?

Reading about cheese's netball antics reminds me of indoor soccer wher there are 4 kinds of players we play against on a regular basis
1. Crap players. By far the best kind. I also put average and middling to good players in this catagory because i ran out of catagories. Here's a tip kids, don't limit yourself to 4 types of people because there's really like 6 or 7.
2. Good players. As above except they kick our asses. Both types are fun to play the crap players cos you win and the good players because you learn something. something about incredible ass-pain.
3. Fat players. these are ok except that when they tackle you they tend to body check you and you bounce off into walls and such.
4. Wogs. They either are good or think they are and they are all psycho. I'm not being racist because its true.
Last friday we played a team that had a wog in it. They beat us 8-3 and during the game the guy got really mad at us when we got the ball off him, and would shove us when we had the ball, and he kicked our goalkeeper (me) when the ref wasn't looking. Then he got even more mad when the ref kept on giving us free kicks and complained how the ref was against them. after the game one of our guys went out to the carpark and the wog tried to start a fight with our team.
at this stage ive forgotten the point of this whole thing but i remember it had something to do with death riding a bi-sickle

Fact!

Do you speak Spanish is...

¿Habla usted español?

...

Now all I need is a Spanish Language Book where I can get past the first test/lesson.

...

On a good note, I can now have a converstaion with that drunk bloke in The Grand.

...

On a bad note the sentence is useless to me, as it is the only thing that I know how to say. Much like the reverse of that Spanish dude in Family Guy, whose complete knowledge of English, was knowing how to say his name, correct Brians poor Spanish grammer then explain that they were the only two phrases he knew in English.

¡Sí! Adiós.

Lost?

I don't want to alarm anyone, but i may well have found Jo Murry's long lost twin sister.

Scary but true.

For a long time now, i have been operating with the theory that Wollongong is some kind of mirror image anti-newcastle. (With more bogans)

She was a vegan with redish hair, an enthusiastic op-shopper, her voice sounded just like Jo's, and was a part time clown/pirate/ninja.

Name the number of people who will come up to you and say...

"Hey, high fives have become passe. Lets make them cool again! High Five!"

Highlander was wrong...

...there is more than one......

Katie-cheese has been complaining that
(a) this blog doesn't recieve attention or as many comments as others (ahem, like mine?)
(b) and that no one contributes enough

So to kill a few birds, I'm posting something SHE wrote which I'm will strike a chord with most of you. Enjoy.

Stare straight ahead. Don’t even think about looking at your father. Keep your eyes fixed on the television screen. The show can’t last forever.

Sunday nights are ever constant. Offering roast dinners, banter around the table, inane questions resulting in answers already known, and after dinner settling around the TV watching period dramas on the ABC.

It’s the end of the night that bothers me. There is nothing more awkward as sitting through a sex scene with your parent. “ Contains a sex scene” is the dreaded warning that precedes the program; the booming voice of the warning haunts me throughout the program.

When will this gratuitous sex pop up?

In silence we wait. I begin to wonder what my Dad is thinking. Whether the moments that we share will embarrass him and if he will leave the room to avoid the painful situation. There are some things that are unspoken and will remain unspoken between father and daughter.

At last the scene arrives. Unbearable silence. My eyes are fixed on the telly, I repeat my mantra “Don’t cough, Don’t move, Act normal”. My father doesn’t move either. The ABC has changed. When I was young there was never any sex on our public broadcaster, now sex fills the ABC’s agenda, what sacrilege to show a period drama with sex on a Sunday night.

The three minutes of sex seems to last a lifetime. My mind is alert to any movement from my father. I’m worried about what he is thinking. We as children know, of course, that parents are asexual beings. It’s cruel but true: fathers have never engaged in intercourse.

And then it is over. The unspoken is never referred to; and it’s a relief. Perhaps forever we will fall into our routine, painstakingly avoiding these awkward situations, or at least until next Sunday.

A REPLY TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CHEESE, By James WC Kells esq.

From the person who owns 8 Flaming Lips CD/DVD’s I applaud you for your sound choice of music (I have only 4 left to buy, At War with the Mystics comes out on MONDAY!!! YEAH!).

The Flaming Lips are the only band that can present uplifting or depressing topics under a cover of nonsensical giddy lyrics and high pitched happy sounds.

For Example…

Christmas At The Zoo... (Clouds taste Metallic)
There wasn't any snow on Christmas eve and I knew what Ishould do,
I thought I'd free the animals all locked up at the zoo,
I opened up the fence where the peacocks were,
the lamas wereunleashed the snakes and seals could all get out,
but they Refused to leave....
All of the animals agreed they're not happy at the zoos
But they preferred to save themselves, they seemed to think they could...
The elephants, orangutans, all the birds and kangaroos all saidthanks but no thanks man,
but to be concerned is good...
It started to snow on Christmas Eve in the middle of the nightwalkin through the state park zoo and everything is white...

Or one of my favourites…

Race for the Prize... (Soft Bulletin)
Two scientists were racing
For the good of all mankind
Both of them side by side
So Determined
Locked in heated battle
For the cure that is their prize
But it's so dangerous
But they're determined
Theirs is to win
If it kills them
They're just humans
With wives and children
Upwards to the vanguard
Where the pressure is too high
Under the microscope
Hope against hope
Forging for the future
But to sarcrifice their lives
Both of them side by side
So determined
Theirs is to winIf it kills them
They're just humans
With wives and children
Theirs is to win
It will kill them
They're just humans
With wives and children

I won't force my opinion about their respective messages, but i suggest you listen to the songs so that you see how the band manages to bury the ideas in your head without you noticing...

And remember…
... I got yer package it was all a mess, lightning strikes the postman in his chest, I hope that you remember the things you had to say, it's just a supernatural delay...
(Take that Tool lyrics!)

Sodding Simpsons.

You read a sufficiently nerdy science/tech site.
OF COURSE there will be some Simpsons reference.
In this case, it's that the Simpsons moofie is going to be released July 2008 in the US.
And that there are two more series to come.
Dammit, why don't they (where they = ALL teev people) make more series of GOOD shows- like The Samurai. Come on. It rocked.

I have three tickets - who wants to come?

Your seats are now confirmed for the studio audience of The Chaser's War on Everything on Thursday 6th April .Please meet in the foyer of the ABC studios at 700 Harris Street, Ultimo for the audience call at 6.00pm. You will need to check in at The Chaser audience podium in the foyer, on ground level. There are no tickets, your original booking name is on our audience list.The show should last around two hours and all members of our audience must be 16 years and over. Please just let us know if you are unable to attend by emailing chaser.war@abc.net.auWhilst there is no parking available at the ABC, there is paid parking adjacent at the Carlton Crest Hotel, 179 Thomas Street, cross street is Quay Street, Haymarket and Central Station is a ten-minute walk away.There is no food or drink allowed in the studio, so please eat beforehand if you need to. The studio can also get quite cold, so please bring something warm to wear, if you feel the cold. Also we do not allow recording devices in our studio record. You may be required to present your bag for inspection.We look forward to seeing you there.

And thats all I have to say...

boeuf

Here is my boeuf.
As of this week i have decided that George Lucas is my sworn enemy. If the man is such a genious why oh why did he have to make the lives of every video shop employee a living hell? He writes a 9 part saga, but swears only ever to make parts 4, 5 and 6. This is fine. The nerds are happy, George buys a huge ranch, Harrison Ford shoots onto the hollywood scene and Mark Hamill is brought to the attention of the producers/writers of The Simpsons so they have someone to write gags about for the next 3 centuries (or however the hell long that show really has been running). All in all the world is a better place.
BUT WAIT! CGI is invented and George Lucas starts getting fantastic ideas in his head like "What if i made the first 3 parts of my 9-part saga so i can buy another ranch?!!"
NO GEORGE DONT DO IT!! Too late.
He did and now I have to put up with idiotic questions like "Is A New Hope the first Star Wars movie?" Yes. No. Yes. The answer is yes, it is, if you want to watch the series in the order in which the films were made. The answer is "No you great bafoon!!", if you want to watch the saga in its own 'chronological' intirety.
As a video shop employee, I am compelled to advise the general public to study up on their Star Wars knowledge before asking me any questions riddled with bafoonery.

Here is your guide to the episodes:
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Episode IV: A New Hope (Here comes Mark Hamill!)
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Next week: my beef on Three Colours: Red, White and Blue.
THEYRE FRENCH! OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE SUBTITLES!! AHHHH!

Pourquoi tu discutes?

USS GONZALEZ ENGAGES PIRATE MARAUDERS!!!!!

Hey all,
Hope you are doing great. I know I haven't posted here in a while, but i saw this and seriously started cracking up!!

-------------------------
Off the coast of Somalia, US warships took RPG and small arms fire from pirate gunboats while on patrol to protect maritime sea vessels in the region.

The USS Gonzalez returned fire from its forward mounted 50 cal. machine guns killing one pirate and wounding three others as well as disabling the pirate skiff.

A Marine boarding party detained the remaining pirates and confiscated a large weapons cache.
-------------------------

Its good to know that swashbuckling adventure is still alive on the high seas. ARRRRRGGH MATEY!.

More nipples

I have been educated.
Further edified.
And this nipple knowledge has come from a hitherto considered unlikely source of nippleorama.

It seems that it doesn't matter what you wear, as long as your nipples are covered, you will be perfectly warm, able o withstand the fiercest cold, the grimmest chill, the nippliest of ALL nipply weather!

Yes, boys and girls, nipples ARE the bodies heat source.
no longer will it be "little Jimmy, put some shoes, you'll catch your death of a cold", it will be "little jimmy, i've got something to slap on your chest, yes you don't have to wear long trousers".

Apparently, all those scantily clad young gels really WEREN'T cold in the middle of winter with bare arms and short skirts.

Thankyou Kells, for your further insight to human thermodynamics.

Because some of us seem to argue so much (i.e. Postmodernism: Martin Vs Kate), I thought it might be interesting to post this link to what is described as the worlds smallest quiz. Perhaps much of our arguments stem from deep routed political beliefs... or then again perhaps not.

http://www.self-gov.org/quiz.html

There was one problem however...

The hippie cult that runs this website got some of there definitions a tad wrong. Here for the viewing public are my corrections:

Conservative: (Right, not to say this is the answer, simply the direction they lean towards. If a large person, when boarding rollercoaster’s or the ‘vomitron’ be sure to stay on their left side, otherwise you will face the prospect of being crushed by their conservative centre of gravity, when banking around corners): Support traditional values, such as family morals, strong anti-drug laws and Friday night witch burnings in the town square.

Liberal (Left): …Not the Johnny Howard type… Plan to build a giant space station in outer space (of all places!). The Earth will be taken over by the national trust for conservation. Anyone not on the space station will be killed humanly, inserting a piece of lead into their brains through the aid of a gun. People should unite behind me as their supreme leader. Enough said.

Libertarian: People who made this quiz. Anarchists (not the good Sex Pistols kind, but the kind who make charts and go to group rallies to show how individual they are).

Statist: Tend to distrust the free market, support high taxes and centralized planning of the economy, oppose diverse lifestyles, and question the importance of civil liberties. Like to be chained up and whipped by random strangers.

Centrist: Idiots who can’t make up their mind. Donkey Voters. People who vote for the ‘lower excise and taxes on fuel and alcohol party’.

Fascist: Mussolini, Franco, anyone not in a Punk Band, Pyschotron

Communist (Commie): Psychotron (Formerly ‘Red Square’)

Quote of the day!

This comes from my lecturer, he is ace!

" I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure"

australian fiction

well, sam said. that's it, then.
that's what?
we stay.
you weren't really gunna sell, sam? said lester, squeezing off an allergenic chord.
no. some abo told me it wasn't worth the money. actually he said it was bad luck.
that was me! said dolly, and i'm no abo.
i dunno, i forget. it was election day. the bugger laughed when i asked him how he voted.
he didn't vote, said rose, matter of fact.
what?
blacks havn't got the vote, she said.
sam put his cup pn the saucer. jesus, that's a bit rough, isn't it? they need a union.
rose laughed.
well, he was shitty for a reason, then. he basically said i as pissweak.
remember which side of the corridor you're on! oriel bellowed. the language!
well, he was right, said dolly.
now, now, said lester.
more tea? asked elaine.
yairs. a toast.
what to?
to us, said lester. and this old place.
ere, ere.
god bless er, an all who sink in er.
gawd, he's gunna play the national anthem.
lester! give over.
fish, get your fingers out of it, let him play the song.
that's a royalist song. play an australian song.
they're all irish.
- Tim Winton

(too right.)

leftovers

i always enjoy leftovers for breakfast - anything from thai food to pizza, but i find that there aren't enough leftovers to satisfy. if only there was a cafe that served dinner foods on their breakfast menu.
after eating leftovers we shouldn't have to spoil that leftover taste with a piece of toast or a bowl of cereal.
on another note, i've lost my sd usb card reader somewhere between melbourne, albury, rutherglen and home. i am so annoyed.

after mating the male has, at best, a 50% chance of survival.

oh yes kiddies it is time for mad spiderfacts with david attenborough and the mad hatter!

* various types of spiders, such as the wolf spider and the long-jawed orb weaver can walk effortlessly across water. they are either descendants of jesus, or jesus was infact a spider.

*female spiders often eat their mate during or after mating.
moral: human males should not fraternise with spiders

*red backs and tube web spiders use trip lines of silk in order to catch their prey. An insect, such as an ant or woodlouse walks into the sticky silk of the tripline, sending vibrations back to the spider nestled in its web. the spider will register the vibrations and head in the direction from which they are comming in order to catch its prey (however if it is a woodlouse, the tube web spider will disgard the insect as it does not impress upon the spider's palate).

*male spiders are cunning. check this out:

the nursery web spider: mating habits
In an effort to make mating less hazardous, the male will catch an insect, wrap it up and carry it around until he finds a female. He then presents it to her and mates with the female while she is distracted by her meal. This lasts for about an hour or until the female has finished eating her gift.

i hope she ate him anyway. the raping bastard.

*the common black house spider can survive for months without any food or water. More evidence that jesus was a spider.



remember kids, insects (especially spiders) are cool. dont knock them cause for every one human on earth, there are 200million insects. they will get you.
watch life in the undergrowth 7.30pm Sundays, ABC

melbourne

i'm in melbourne. i wish i had brought friends down here to play with.
today i purchased speech bubble shaped post it notes. YES!!!!!

MEEPLES!!!

We are here in the wild in the hope of catching meeples in their natural environment. There are several varieties of meeple that are only differentiated by markings and temperment.
After travelling for several days, we camped near a french city and witnessed a meeple raid. This rare event was captured on film for the first time ever. You can see the meeples gathering in clans for the attack

Later that very day we saw the meeple mating ritual which involves a gymnastics display from the males. This shows the females their virlity and their co-operation skills

After camping for a month on the kitchen floor we filmed meeples gathering food from a carefully placed cake

Tune in next week when we determine if meeples have a plan for global conquest and if they will succeed

im not living, im just killing time

im so incredibly bored, that i decided to google the phrase/name "captain triangle" because of my love of the sea and my newly found fascination with tri-angular shapes. this is what i found:




his name is actually captain triangle and he brings a message of hope for us all. or perhaps only for some?

anyway, back to googling. when i googled pink jelly i got this:


pretty gross. anyone actually know what it is? a jird. no shit it's a baby jird. Cheese about
the dude on the beach with the pink jelly, as much as it looks like he's holding a giant pink dildo, i really think that it is a giant, gelatinous nipple.
im off to kill more stuff,
ange


*if you want to know exactly what, sorry who i killed, you can find out on my reinvented tea party blog

"pink jelly" image search

i did this in google and 10 out of the first 20 images were pictures of dildos, butt plugs and vibrators.
Maybe the man on the beach is carrying a giant pink dildo? with that he probably wouldn't even need his nipples tweaked.
on that note, i've always had a theory that men's nipples actually weigh heaps to help with balancing. woman have boobs so are alreay balanced out with their bums. but men don't so it must be the highly dense tissue in their nipples keeping them from falling backwards.

nipples

One day, while having a quiet drink with her
sex-ed officer Captain Feathersword, Cheese was told of the magical technique of nipple tweaking during foreplay. "But, however will i find this 'nipple' of which you speak Captain?" inquired our Cheese. " 'ere," growled Feathersword, " Ay weel show thee an this 'ere subject," he slurred as he scuttled towards Mark. "No Captain!" advised Cheese sternly. He will never do! Mark does not believe in pre-marital sex. His nipple will not even BEGIN to know how to be tweaked!!"





"Let us instead harass a strapping young lad who never stops mentioning his sexual drive, Todd."
Cheese leaped out of her seat and flung herself across the room onto Todd's back. After much groping, she was confused at finding no nipples on his back at all.
Seeing this display, Cheese's friend Ange took it upon herself to intervene.









Ange informed Cheese on where male nipples are located. "But that makes no sense whatsoever!" cried Cheese, and she was absolutely correct. Why on earth should males have nipples when they have no mammory glands? Cheese pondered this thought and expressed another, "Imagine though, what male chests would look like if they had no nipples," said Cheese. This thought shocked and appalled both girls so thoroughly that they never spoke of such nonsense ever again.







After searching for hours, Cheese again found Todd and subsequently tweaked his nipple. She was amazed that Angela's explicit discription of a nipple's location enabled her to find Todd's nipple through his shirt.
Todd had a chick sitting on his lap and thus did not even feel his nipple being tweaked.
Kiggles giggled.


THE END

Think Pink!

Yay for today!

Today is the first day of Pink Jelly!
I have started to realise the lack of enthusiam for this wonderful blog!
So to conteract this I have changed the blog colour to PINK!
Hopefully you who call yourselves contributers will return to your former glory NOW that the blog has re-invented itself (ala kylie and Madonna)!

Enjoy and Embrace the new PINK Jelly!

Also enjoy this random photo that google gave me when I typed in Pink Jelly:
What is the man carrying? Discuss.

everything is good for you if it doesnt kill you

YESSSSS! i got second in the post tally! it is however notable to mention that, whilst attempting to post my 12th (this post), i totally forgot my username because i havnt been on jelly in so long. which goes to show that i am the biggest nerd ever...also because only the moderator managed to beat me lol
on that note, i am now 6 posts behind you cheese...watch your back ;)

preview of my next post: I GOT A NEW CAR!!! YAY!

why not to eat gelatinous products - like jelly!!!

On a commercial scale, gelatin is made from by-products of the meat and leather industry, mainly pork skins, pork and cattle bones, or split cattle hides. Contrary to popular belief, horns and hooves are not commonly used. The raw materials are prepared by different curing, acid, and alkali processes which are employed to extract the dried collagen hydrolysate and which may take several weeks. The worldwide production amounts to 250,000 tons per year.

I don't like jelly. I don't trust the way it moves.

No more sunny Cobar for me! Until April!
Yay!

movies

TUESDAY NIGHT= MOVIE NIGHT!
WHAT SHALL WE SEE?

Greater Union, Glendale
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:30am, 1:15pm, 4:00pm, 6:40pm, 9:20pm

Hoyts, Charlestown
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:30am, 1:10pm, 3:50pm, 6:30pm, 9:00pm

Showcase Cinemas, Newcastle
Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel)
M - 116minsScreening Times: 4:45pm
Mrs Henderson Presents
M - 99minsScreening Times: 10:40am, 6:45pm
Shopgirl
M - 100minsScreening Times: 12:30pm, 4:45pm
The Family Stone
M - 103minsScreening Times: 2:30pm, 8:45pm
The Producers
M - 134minsScreening Times: 4:15pm
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:45am, 1:05pm, 6:45pm, 9:00pm

Tower Greater Union, Newcastle
Good Night, and Good Luck
PG - 93minsScreening Times: 10:15am, 12:15pm, 2:15pm, 7:00pm, 9:00pm

where are you people, why aren't you blogging - it's a rainy day, you can't be doing anything that great!!!!!!! well...you could...

regrets

i really regret all the pancakes i had this morning lathered with maple syrup, whipped cream, butter and topped off with mango.... and followed by pink champayne...
now, lying on the study floor in feotal position i wish myself a happy birthday and i hope i get smarter from here on in..

How you doin?

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

It's all true, lol. :-P


I'm sure someone else's blog has a link to yet another time killing activity.


I wanted to choose the spice girl movie for best love story though.


"And I stay in bed. Oh, in a little while I'll see you.If just once I could feel love, oh, stare back at me. Yeah." Pearl Jam

Spiral Out. Keep Going!

family photo?

http://ilx.p3r.net/thread.php?msgid=5786574

Fortune and Glory

This post is mainly for Tim's benefit.

After the Big Day Out (Yeah for, White Stripes, Gerling, Iggy etc...) I will be attending DogCon, one of the largest Warhammer tournament's in Australia.

I have no allusions about winning.

The only decision I have to make is whether I aim for coming 99th or 100th out of 100. (I will have to see if there is a cool Wooden Spoon trophy).

Here is my Army List (Tim, It doesn't look that good on paper, but it performs relatively well, scored a victory against Freddy (Although his army wasn't that tough).

I Can't Believe I'm Not Dave's: Empire Army List 2250 Pts
1 Elector Count
-Sword of Justice (reroll failed wounds)
-Holy Relic (4+ ward)
-Armour of Meteoric Iron (1+ Armour)
1 Battle Wizard: Magic Level 2
-Dispel Scroll
-Dispel Scroll
1 Battle Wizard: Magic Level 2
-Rod of Power (Can save up to three magic dice each magic phase)
1 Captain
-Full Plate Armor
-Battle Standard
-Dragon Bow (St 6, good for random shots at things - fanatics, assassins, squigs etc)
10 Knightly Orders of the Inner Circle
-War Banner
6 White Wolf Knights
25 Swordsmen
-Banner of Griffon (Yes..... in every army there must be one)
-9 Detachment - Free Company
25 Swordsmen
18 Spearmen
-6 Detachment - Handgunners
5 Huntsmen
1 Great Cannon
1 Mortar
5 Pistoliers + 1 Marksman: Repeater Pistol
1 Hellblaster (In the practice games has only blown up once, and that was on the last barrel in turn 6)

Casting Pool: 6 (possible 9)
Dispel Pool: 4 (possible 7 - Stupid VC and TK armies are going to wipe me out!)
Models in Army: 126
Total Army Cost: 2250

And Tim, we should go to BIV in April.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Charles de Gaulle (former leader of France, and the Jackals unsuccessful target):

‘How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?’

" RICKKKKYYY....."

Summer is the time for Cricket.

I love watching the cricket. It is just so good. I LOVE A GOOD GAME. Especially when Australia has a bit of competition (Like now- Thankyou The Republic of South Africa). I also love to watch that champion Adam Gilchrist smoke it up....

I also like to develop a hate for one player on the Australian Team. This occurs for no reason and Players can redeem them selves on the Cheese list of Good for their random actions (ie. Gillespie for Growing a Mullet....).

My most dispised player for a long time now it has been Ricky Pointing.

There is no reason whatsoever for this random hate. I know Ricky is a very talented player and is a good batsman and he had a BRILLIANT catch the other day in the Slip posistion...blah blah blah..... BUT I can't help but get annoyed when he comes on the TV screen.

My favorite pastime while watching the cricket is too adopt my best BOGAN voice and call out "RIIICCKKKYYY...." whenever he opens his mouth or is on the screen. Summer in the house of Cheese is full of my random calls to the Cricketers.

Also it annoys my Dad- who is in love with Pointing...

Ahhh Cricket... What more can I say. Good days, good days.

My party

Konnichiwa Everyone!

Just letting y'all know that ive just sent out the invites to my 21st (i.e. via email). Computers being electronic and all, ive probobly stuffed it up. So if you think u should have been invited and didnt, let me know.

People that should have been invited and definitely didnt get invited because i dont have their emails are: Cupitt Janet Marty Trent Shaun Amanda Dane Daz Hyoim Sumie. Anyone wants to pass on the message, please do!!

Cheers, hope to see you all there!!

I did that stupid quiz that was on Marks Blog, and here are my results...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7
Mind:	6.9
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	7.7
Friends/Family:	3.3
Love:	0
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I didn't realise that '0' was a possible score! Apparently this quiz can't compute my supposed 'H.O.T.N.E.S.S'.

All is quiet on NEW YEARS DAY!

This is the official tally of who has posted the most on the best jelly blog!

I hope you friendly bloggers are ready to bask in your neardy-ness.....
<<>>>

1st.
Cheese: 15

2nd.
The Mad Hatter: 11

3rd.
A monkey Named Jimbo: 10

Equal 4th.
Lucky a.k.a "Citizen Snips': 8
Evil Lincoln: 8

5th.
Ducky Tong: 5

6th.
Erin:4

Equal 7th.
markalwayswins:3
Mike TV:3

Equal 8th.
Jocoanut:2
Hermit Bill: 2
Hawkeye Houlihan: 2

9th.
ardnassac: 1

Last is those silly bloggers:
Kat, Kiggles, Syd the III and Desert Fox!
( tut tut tut - NO glory for you!- sucked in...)

Too long between games.

I think this is a prefect medium for me to release the inner nerd, which I have had to keep pent up inside me for the last few months, while in Japan away from my games, and figures.

…by discussing favourites, and making lists (which are always fun).

My favourite game of the year (well I did miss half a year of gaming) is Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. Stealth games are still probably my favourite genre I know a lot of my friends don’t feel the same "what? I have to use my head? I cant just shoot him 20 times, and then a further 30 times when he's lifeless on the ground??" maybe it's my inner urges to become a ninja (which every boy does when he grows up).

All the splinter Cell games have been great, but this one was exceptionally special. First, it gave Sam a knife, which was great in terms of gameplay, and the instant kill function (kidney slash, still my favourite). Secondly the graphics look just as good as some of the xbox 360 games. And Finally, the co-operative mode, this was just fucking sweet addition. I remember once at pre-drinks me and Gibbo tried to run through the first level in 5 mins as opposed to 2hrs, without any stealth, kill everyone in our path and to hell with all the alarms. I don't think we ever achieved it, but we did try so many times, we were late to the grand that night. Although I don’t think anyone there minded they enjoyed watching our stupid antics. Also I remember doing all the missions one night properly with Kells, until he cracked the shits and just wanted to run through the last level, I think you did have fun man, maybe next time I wont have to lock the door, or hold you at gun point. :-P (Splinter Cell 4 comes out next year, after all).

Well it is the beginning of the end of this current generation of consoles, with the release of the xbox 360 (which doesn’t come out in Australia until March, with that and the delay of Zelda until the same time, I think the video game God likes me :-) and doesn’t want me to miss out). So I thought I'd do my round up of favourite games from this generation. Well firstly I don’t think my number 1 has come out yet, as I said earlier Zelda doesn’t come out till next March, but here goes.

1. Halo2
2. Halo (These two might not be technically the 'best' games out, but the sheer amount of time we have all spent playing them, at mine, Caldies, Little's, Gibbo's and Tuck's must mean they are pretty good, and I always looked forward to Friday nights).
3. Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
4. Metriod Prime (goes to show you can base a game purely on atmosphere)
5. Super Smash Bros Melee (again purely for the amount of times I've spent playing it with friends, still remember that night we played each time a player lost they had to take a shot, Cupitt was sick until 3 the next afternoon [maybe we ::should:: have taken him to hospital])

And my developer of this generation Ubisoft, they make so many good games, and very few flops. Splinter Cells, Prince of Persias, Ghost Recons, Rainbow Sixes, Beyond Good and Evil, and so many more. Rareware, as my pick from last generation, pick-up your game, I hope you can make it back to number one with some sweet games for the Xbox360 I was very disappointed this generation at the company that killed my social life and made me into a nerd with games like; Goldeneye, Conkers and Perfect Dark.

Ah, I feel better now; I now return you to you normal blog.

Tim

Ride The Spiral

As Microsoft said in that banned campaign “Life’s short, play hard.”

Video killed the radio star...

I have been listening to commercial radio more than I would like lately, and I have noticed something very important:

Pop music is becoming more and more like Eurovision Song Contest Music.

Take for example the lyrics to this new song I heard the other night (actually I heard it several times, it appears that the DJ may have accidental hit the repeat button, and couldn’t be arsed to do anything about it):

# From Paris to Berlin,
In every Disco I am in,
My heart is pumping for love,
Pumping for love. #

Discos? European Cities? Irregular Bodily Functions? Could this chorus be any more Eurovision-ish?

I think not… null points.

Yet this leaves me with only two conclusions:

1: Pop music is getting worse

Or

2: The Eurovision judges and contestants discovered how to make a time machine in the early sixties when a UFO (in reality a ‘Swiss Aeroplane’ – Think about it, time-perfect clocks, great chocolate, large monetary centre, neutral in all wars, look like German tourists, and an aversion to sunlight) crash landed in Brussels. In an effort to look cool, they travelled into the future so that they could create the best pop music possible; however the music was so advanced for its time that it appeared retro, outdated and corny to contemporary listeners.

My Friends, the correct answer can only be number two. Therefore the world is in crisis. It will not be long before Eurovision loses its innocence, and unleashes an army of red sequined time travelling keyboard-guitar carrying eastern European moustached men.

The ‘countdown’ to ‘top of the pops’ Armageddon has begun….

Psychic Dave

This is a post from my brother Dave's site-I love it! i hope you guys enjoy and ask dave some nice questions......................

There was once a time before broadband, ADSL, Cable and other superfast internet connections when you would wait up to two minutes to wait for a website - yes guys this was the era of the internet before the year 2000 - yeah half a decade has passed and we have all forgotten.

At that time blogs were virtually unheard of. People could create websites in their own home using microsoft frontpage or if you couldn't be arsed paying all this money, the microsoft frontpage express options included in Windows 1998!

You may all be surprised to know that I once created a webpage called Psychic Dave (http://www.psychicdave.8k.com/). Its origins were in a rather devious scheme to help one of my cousins to make sure one of her friends didn't go for a boy she liked. This friend ( I think she may have been called Sharon I don't quite remember) called me and I gave her psychic advice based on information my cousin gave me. It may have worked and so the website was set up. It became a cult hit among some of my sisters friends and for a while there was no activity whatsoever.

Then in the year 2001, the website was featured in a New Zealand computer magazine called Dodgy. For more than three months I would recieve between 12 and 150 emails a day asking for psychic advice. The strangest being questions about suicide, pregnancy and one a complex mining engineering enquiry - warning me that if I gave the wrong answer I risked $50 million worth of equipment.

I contend that this was the nature of the web in the past. A place where you could create a simple and effective website at the touch of a button using only frontpage and geocities (or freeservers). But we must embrace change and I promise to write in this blog as often as possible.

H.O.T.N.E.S.S

AND the best dressed award for the Boxing day Races goes to .......

JAMES KELLS!

He looked way hot in his Pin-stripe Jacket and Tan Pants!

Well done! Yay!

Essential Reading

I heartedly endorse this product…


Cosmetics from the Earth: A Guide to Natural Beauty (Paperback)by Roy Genders
Availability: Available from these sellers.
9 used & new available from $5.79


Product Details
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Vanderbilt Univ Dept of; Rep edition (April, 1986)
Language: English
ISBN: 0912383208
Amazon.com Sales Rank:
Today: #1,283,323 in Books Yesterday: #1,282,933 in Books
(Publishers and authors: improve your sales)

I AM A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE

For those of you who could not tell by my physique, i am a professional sportsman much like ronaldo. I was paid $75 after losing my indoor soccer grand final. This means that i am paid $150 an hour. Note that to get into this grand final we finished 6th out of eight teams then wion one game. Also that it cost $45 dollars per game. And the $75 is divided amongst the team. But regardless of that i can lose 14 grand finals a day and get paid $1050. As a professional athlete i am not prepared to lose in a competition, however pointless or stupid it is. Kells, Cheese - it's on. I, Evil Lincoln shall have the most posts by new year Mhahahaha. (NB: i am not to be confused with good lincoln, who is much more evil, but in a good way)

This post is just to annoy Cheese, and increase my blog tally.

Please ignore this post, and keep clear of the doors as this train of thought is departing

(And remember Tim, you should always alight from the train)

Getting to work and then counting down the hours, minutes and seconds before the freedom of finishing another shift is rather depressing. Therefore, I have devised a new therapeutic method of measuring my shift length.

My shift is now approximately:

80 Tool songs long

OR alternatively it is:

210 Ramones songs long.

For some reason, it makes the time go by that much faster.

Boxing Day Races! AND THE SCORES!

Hi Lovlies,

Well Well Well!

What a year huh!
Boxing day has come around again and what is not more christmas-ey than getting drunk at a race course and losing all your money on a horse! Its way fun..... its hot!

I am going- so people on this blog who want to come should give me money so that I can buy them a tix! $15 people!!!

Mad Hatter- I will seeyou and your partner in crime ( March Hare) there! Thank you for the most wonderful christmas card! HArry Potter- How did you know!!!

Evil Lincoln - Shirt shopping this friday! You just need black pants and shoes...kapish!

Okay kids,The Scores are nearly in... How many times you have posted
so here we go Here is your score!
Cheese : 11
The Mad Hatter: 10
AMonkeyNamedJimbo (aka Mittens): 8
Evil Lincoln: 7
DuckyTong: 5
Maverick Kells: 4
Erin: 4
Mark and Mike TV:3
Hawkeye and Hermit Bill: 2
JoCONUT and Cass: 1

Kiggles, Adam as of yet have not posted!( But they still have till the new Year to impress me!)

Jelly on!

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.

woolworths romance

i was just visiting another blogfeed i'm in and read that two people i know in sydney have just got engaged...

"he asked me in aisle three of woolworths, in front of the mobile phone biscuits. he was even down on one knee. although i was too, because the biscuits are on the second bottom row."

wow.

Happy Birthday Cupitt

Cupitt, happy birthday mate, Seeya soon bud.

P.S I gave away my grand card (as a present, alot of sentimental value, you know) tonight to a good friend who is leaving, it wont be valid when I get home right? Or did I just give away $25??

Gonna miss you Maggs, hope to seeya soon.

Ride the Spiral

Lets put the istma back into Christmass

Hey i just discovered that if i delete my internet history i get ten new posts on the blog. Its like christmass come early. Actually its more like the queens birthday.
Mark, tim where is the love. It is christmass after all. Just think to yourself what would jesus do. Im not saying you should do it or anything cos he got nailed to a cross, but try the changing water into wine thing. Also the part where he helped the good samaritan is my favourite (id like to talk to you about je-sus) I want you two to kiss and make up. Now a little bit of toungue... thats enough. tim, no attempting to steal second base (cos you have a runner on third boom ching).
Kells i demand you post again as you always have an amusing anecdote. I never have anecdotes because
1. I dont work
2. I spend all day having fun because i dont work
3. This point is just here to rub your noses in the first two. suckers.
Cate, why do you care about politics? Unions cant force people to join as then they turn into Hitler and invade poland. Although I confess i secretly vote labour. In a polling booth boom ching.
Cupitt had another birthday. Every year its the same with the having the birthday. sheesh. be original and instead of turning 22 next year turn into a radish. We forgot to bring dylans card which is a shame because it was the best card ever. It had a pirate theme, a maze, a colouring in section, and spongebob squarepants fingerpuppets. Cupitt i am sorry for all the times i called you stupid. But it does rhyme. It is a common misconception that i bit cupitts nose off. Actually he bit my nose off, which is why i threw a shruiken causing the piss-weak scar still visible on his nose. He should thank me
Cupitts girlfriends before manly scar: 0
Cupitts girlfriends after macho scar: 3+ (counting jane's friend and marty)
I apologise for whatever. Also i want my shruiken back bitch
I've decided to post my own movie reviews:
Epoch - * ;Is the gigantic upside down cone of spinning rock god?
Conquest - ;Mexican/spanish/italian fantasy movie. I shudder at the memory
Gor - * ;Man loses girl to other guy in pink jeep, hits electric tree, and is transported to GOR. Highlight - the previews
Caravan of Courage - * ;Ewok movie. Highlight - the subtitles, eg: nun,nun,nun,nun,nun
TRON - ** ;You can tell they are in a computer cos they're wearing neon
Cube 2 - * ;Exactly like cube 1, only worse. more cubes though
Steamboy - ***1/2;yeah i slipped in some anime on bad movie night. really good drawings, poor plot
Knightriders - *****;I haven't seen it but magic is in the soul man
Merry Christmass all!
This post is clearly ending too early...
I am Zico, i used to live here. I will steal the heartstone and become the next priest-king of GOR!
PS waaaait janet owes me 60 bucks

Back Home

Hey everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know that I miss them and unfortunately I am back home in Arizona now. Happy Birthday Adam!!!! Anyway, hope all is going well. Narnia is great for those of you who will see it. I saw it last night!!

Anyway, if any of you want to get a hold of me for whatever reason. Here is my info:

Mike Martin (of course)
7521 N Jensen Pl
Tucson, AZ 85741
USA

from any aussie phone (including text messages)I'
0011 1 520 820 4644

and my instant message handles...
mustangmikeua - aim
mustangmikeua@hotmail.com - msn

Hope to hear from you all and hope you are all doing well.

P.S. Marty - you need to kick scratchleys into shape. No calimari?? pfft, some seafood restaurant you work at... lol, just kidding!! :-p

Take care,
Mike

O Yea

Hey Jimbo, i think you should have posted these lyrics instead:


1,2,3,4
So you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some and
have some space
well fuck you too

Give me my money back
give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
And don't forget
And don't forget
to give me back my black T-shirt

possible the best thing online since homestarrunner

i just spent 6 hours playing isketch

it's online pictionary. it's great.

email me if you want to play sometime.

Splatt poetry

I followed the link on this page and created poetry by closing my eyes and randomly draging my mouse around in the hope it would make some sort of message from my subconciosness or somesuch. Now i am very concerned

trudge go delicate
my but lather there
& do music less cool iron her
heave down not always go forest
a could have vision chant

I could work out its meaning but i think id better not. Sure i want butt lathering to be delicate same as everyone, however i dont know if its the music that should be less cool or the iron when i use it on her. But that fourth line is just plain worrying. Any pschiatrists in the audience please comment

Jam

Yeah for Work! Since 4/12/05.

My sister bought me a nano iPod so now I can listen to my recorded voice saying:

"Jam, jam, jam, jam, jam, jam"

Also I noticed a small sign someone had placed above the 5 minute stretch routine to combat RSI. It said, in clear handprinted large letters:

"Be JAPAN"

And had a little legacy badge attached to it.

I'm not quite sure what this could mean. But in my sleep induced haze I came up with two simple solutions.

1. We need to be more efficient and productive like the Japanese

OR

2. Working at Australia Post at 3am has simularities to Changi

I love my Job, and I love my Brick.

What More Can I Say?

THE FINN BROTHERS WERE BLOODY MAGNIFICENT!
I think that it is the best festival / gig I have ever been to - I got really close to the stage (and Neil...)! I was about 3 people back (after much pushing and shoving and weasling my way to the front * and almost dying in the living end*) and I had a PERFECT view! There was sooo much singing and soo much love in the domain park! I think my highlights of the set was "Won't Give In", "Distant Sun", "World where you live"(Tribute to Paul Hester) and also "I See Red" because it is always FANTASTIC when Tim Finn goes crazy with his dancing! ( I do believe this is were I got my dancing skills...heh heh heh)

There were other Highlights of the day as well "Arhitecture in Helsinki" (dancing with Kiggles and Ange!), the Squishie drink, " The Go Betweens"(watching Kiggles have a full on Mimed tennis match in the middle of the crowd), " Sarah Blasko" singing Flame Trees, Seeing that Wolfmother guy and his Crazy Hair from afar, "Something for me" (Kate) singing Rock the Kasbah, and nearly being killed in the Living End mosh pit thing (I am getting a black toe nail- its gross!).

BUT the Day Definately goes to THE FINNS! They were nothing short of Brilliant! ( as my dad says I am a Finn-actic... ah haha ha ha: good pun huh!)

another missed birthday

happy birthday kells

everything is good for you...

i was starting to obsess about whether zoe still likes me or not, so i read her diary. see what the bitch thinks of me when i publish her entries!

26th November 2005
dear diary,
two good things happened today. firstly, i got to sit on the front lawn for ages after i went walking with court, which was great. i must have done something right, cause i got to eat biscuits with her all arvo.
then when ange came home from work i was reclining on court's bed, while she watched a movie with her new human-male and ange came in and asked if i wanted to eat corn chips and watch texas hold 'em and rage. i was like CORN CHIPS!? hell yeah so i put up with the poker (which she assures me is fuckin' awesome) for the corn chips. bad idea. she had nail sissors cause she was giving herself a manicure and decided to cut chunks out of the back of my hair. so i went to bed.

27th November 2005
me again,
after 2 days of being confused by the actual meaning of the word "unicorn" i think i finally understand what it means. it is either a creature with three eyes or a type of ball used for kicking, much like a soccer ball. my deduction comes from the frequency of the word in association with firstly the sticker that was placed between my eyes this afternoon and the continued action of brushing me out of the way with a foot. so if i am a unicorn, i must be repeatedly kicked, in which case all feet must die. this task will not be nearly as difficult as you have imagined, because feet taste so good and are never out of reach.
first tho, i think i might rearrange the beanbag. it wasnt very comfortable when i watched bewitched this morning. oh that will ferrell. theres a face id like to lick.

The Perfect Man

Hello there,

I Have been thinking it over and I believe that my favorite character on Neighbours has changed......

SHOCK..... HORROR!

For many years I have loved toadfish! He even sang me Happy Birthday for my 18th (thanks to Today-Today and JJJ)....

BUT recently toady has been very boring and annoying. I feel I have moved on to..... JOE MANGEL!


Joe is awesome - he brings some much needed humour to Ramsey Street, he has his obessesions but all round he is a "top Bloke".

This is sad, however, because Joe Mangel left Neighbours on Wednesday Night...
....... BUT! Joe will be back next year! Hooorrrahhh!

Now doesn't that just make your day!
Now I am going to drink beer!

hmm

i had a dream last night that i was trying to buy a double chocolate sundae with crushed vcrumble on top from macca's and they wanted to charge me $21 for it.

any suggestions as to what this means?

welcome me.

we are moving house in 8 days. i wish moving house was as easy as joining a blog.

i was standing in the line at centrelink today and suddenly a guy picked up a chair and started chasing another guy with it. the chair guy was rushed out by centrelink workers and the other was taken out the back, well behind the magical screens.

although i didn't want anyone to get hurt i was a bit disappointed it all ended so quickly and got me thinking that perhaps when there is a big line at centrelink everyone in the line could perform some sort of 'item'. a poem, a monologue, modern contemporary dance piece, that sort of thing. it would surely be more entertaining then just staring at the back of the head of the person in front. it could even be rated by applause and if you were really good you could be awarded a frontage, backage or even go straight to the desk. and if you were bad you would get given 10 -20 forms to fill out and then have to rejoin at the end of the line.

my friend kate and i once were in the centrelink line listening to missy higgins (before she got way popular) on my ipod and were doing some interpretive dance. it's amused us and i reckon everyone else liked it too, except that to them we probably just looked a bit silly because they wouldn't have heard any music.

Now I am Australian!

Now I feel like a Aussie because I rode a kangaroo to Uni.

No explanation needed

If I can work out how to post a picture above you will see the most whack game in the history of whack. Below you can see it being played by cousin it and family

I played this once with Scarface and Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss passed out and Scarface won on a triple word score on mayfair

They say its your birthday!

On friday night I had a birthday party. It was the best birthday party in the world. We had dancing and cake and SANTA!. I got so many cool gifts including a wacked out half kimono from that sandy haired japanese kid. (Cheers hombre, i love it!). Other presents inlcuded an exellent videocam and a heaps heaps cool digital still cam (curtousy of about 17 people) And an assortment of other increadibly cool gifts.
A splended time was had by all and a DVD of the event will be avalible in the foyer or whenever i get off my ass to make one.
I especcially liked cupitt's speach which meant alot but went nowhere.

I had a great time and the only downside is that my two wayward freinds weren't with me. BUt im sure they were having there own fun. somewhere in a field in kyoto. (why not?)

So peace love and respect to all those who came and all those who were there in spirit.
(To mark and Tim: If it makes you feel any better at my B'day lunch we put party hats on ballons and pretended it was you guys!)


Only wone thing to do now. Nag people who had cameras to POST PHOTOS!!!!!!!



DUCK

All Australian Wednesday

Wednesday night we hit up Sakae it was a good opportunity because all the kids learning this funny language, as opposed to it's funny culture, had the week off. Firstly for dinner we (Me, Mark, Krystal, Wes, Chikagi (sp?), and Shota) went to the Outback which is an Australian themed restaurant run by Americans. I finally got some steak in me, and it was awesome, so was the rest of the food, although a little pricey, my bill came to $40. The main event though was heading to the Red Rock (Australian themed bar, where no Australians work) afterwards. As it was Wednesday night a Nomi Hodai (sp?) was going down, which in English means all you can drink from 9-12 for about $22. Our little group was joined by a bigger group from NUFS and a good night was had by all. When it was time to leave, we couldn’t find an open entrance to the subway, after deciding just to suck it up and stay the whole night we drunkenly stumbled upon one and jumped on a train. Unfortunately this train terminated 3 stops before we wanted it too. So we walked around this unknown place deciding again to stay all night (easy to say for people who didn't have class the next day, bastards!) after going to a conbini, and a closed McDonalds we ended up in a diner (many other events happened, but I couldn't be bothered telling you about them) in said diner Krystal decided she wanted to go home, so we caught a cab, about $8 each later we ended up home, safe and sound, yay.

Spiral out! Keep Going!
P.S Sorry about the boring story, but I am really tired at the moment, maybe Mark can tell it a more interesting way.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

hey cheese! thanx for the invite...i am being held captive by middle aged german swingers in the wilderness of lake tarawera. they make me weed the garden & clean everything. fortunately my fellow hostage is very cool danish girl who shares my love for strong coffee & booze...i heard about HIGH SCHOOL REUNION & thought of you - it features indie artists covering songs from the 80's teen movies. frank black does iggy pops 'repo man' & kristin hersh (throwing muses) does the pixies 'wave of mutilation (uk surf)'!!! also songs from pretty in pink, sixteen candles, the breakfast club, fast times at ridgemont high, say anything, repo man. go on, get it...this keyboard is mad öäö§ßü´§...

1:16am on a Wednesday high on coffee and sweets.

One of my favorite BDO moments: a little known japanese rock band called the ZOOBOMBS, played one of the most energetic sets i've ever seen. Still rates highly top this day.
Another favorite: The flaming lips and a singing virgin Mary.

And myself, Maverik, amonkeynamedJimbo and Sid III all walking along singing

"Were gonna walk up the side of the mountain
Gonna walk down the other side of the mountain
Gonna stand in the river, lie in the sun,
going to try to be nice, to everyone"
Complete with nessisary arm movements to indicate the style of walking one would undertake when walking up the side of a mountain.


Funny thing that happened on the WAY to the BDO. Got of the train to get lollies. Heard a whistle but being an inexpirenced train catcher (this was quite a few years ago, 2001 maybe) i ignored it. Obviously i know now that trains LEAVE when the whistle blows... So i got the next train out, found some freinds and it was all good. Jo Gray on the otherhand road the entire way to sydney on her own.


Well i found it funny.


Im feeling rather uninspired and stupid tonight so i'll leave it there to save you the tedium of any further mundane chatter.


DUCK!

Ballon Man BY Cheese.

>>TEXT>" Watch Me walk on a Bed of Nails" >><< ' The Impending Doom of Ballon man>>

This is a genius piece of cartooning if I ever saw one! I drew it ...isn't it fantastic... hmm... all I can say is....
Hoorrahhh.

Thankyou bill and Hawkeye for posting. Another Horraahhh for you!

** On a happier note** My dad was bitten by a possum today and had to go and get a tenus shot AND the nurses laughed at him.** Oh how I laugh.

The joys of Computers!

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Go and have fun! Now that your Uni work is all done.

Dear KatieCheese,
I would love to.
But I still have four exams (one worth 75%) and a portfolio to go.
In respnse to your email, I would blog, but my head is too full root locii, vibration, instability, and chaos.
And I dont think you want me to start on those.
But... Only 15 more days till it's over for another year! (Damn four year degrees). Hurrah!
Cheers,
Hermit Bill.

Furthering the extent of knowledge through stupidity

?

I'm not one to repeat myself, but

?

If anyone can enlighten me with the answer please leave a comment after the beep

*BEEP*

PS Flushing my toilet appears to cause my internet to crash ( the internet crashes everytime the toilet flushes therefore, etc. The maths is probably too advanced for you. The internet crashing whenever the toilet doesn't flush is irrelevent to the proof). This means that i can only blog if i happen to be up at 3 am when all the grandparents on telstra aren't constantly downloading baby photos and/or porn (not of course in the same file, ewww).

Tales of BDO 2005 to get you in the mood

After not sleeping at all the night before (turning out to be a mistake later on) we drove to Merreweather train station. The announcer at the station was giving us an update every 5 minutes that the train to sydney would arrive in x minutes. Finally the announcer told us that the train had arrived, then warned passangers to get clear of the doors, before announcing that the train to sydney was now departing. The interesting thing about this was that there was no train, or more acurately we had just missed the ghost train. The station manager at this point felt the need to inform everyone that there was no train at platform 1 and do not attempt to board it.
On the train we were discussing which bands we wanted to fight and eventually settled upon slipknot because handily we could challange them in numerical order. At this point we noticed the long haired chap next to us wearing the slipknot shirt, and his mate with a lunchbox full of plastic stuff. Striking up a conversation with him we discovered that he was going to see system of a down and hatebreed. So we asked him "so, are you a slipknot fan?", and he was like "well, maybe a little". Our group of "nerds", "geeks" and "squares" had intimidated him! At this point the train was stopped by the police making us miss frenzal rhomb. The sniffer dog came breifly down our end then left to the obvious relief of mr. lunchbox.
While listening to The Music (the band) i decided to go up front and mosh with all the john buttler fans with their smelly hair. They were very polite and thoughtful as when the ones at the front were given a cup of water they took a sip and handed it over their shoulder, which continued until it got to me where I took a sip and threw the cup over my shoulder and shouted "Mozeltov!" I think this was later justified because one of those stoners fell and grabed my shorts and ripped them from the waistband all the way down.
Grinspoon's bassist had the bright idea of throwing a water bottle high into the crowd. It was when the bottle was 20 meters above us that we realised that when it came down one of us was going to die. The bassist looked on in horror as the crowd scattered. Luckily no water bottles were harmed.
Slipknot came on and demanded that everyone sit down, while those who didn't had bottles thrown at them. Throughout their set i was yelling challanges to them (in sequential order) but none of them showed up at the carpark later on. Despite having 6 surplus members the pussies wouldn't fight me. They did however accidently break a guitar(by trying to spin it around) and a drum kit (by getting on it androcking on it and falling off)
At system of a down i was sprayed so much with hoses that my phone produced psycadelic displays and i was shivering for the rest of the night.
I fell asleep for part of the Beastie Boys set. However i laughed heartily when the boys run around the stage and one of them tried to jump over the keyboard and failed. When the boys were rapping down the gap in the D everyone was trying to touch them. Dylan explained that it was so they could tell their friends they touched a beastie boy. Friends, I have touched a beastie boy. People ask me which one, all i know it was the old one.
After microsleeping through the chemical brothers (which wasn't so bad because i could hear the music in my dreams) we caught the train home. As we were pulling away from the station 3 guys ran down the platform and tried to jump on. Two of them succeded. The fate of the third is best not discussed but involves face and gravel and a 2 metre drop.

More Halloween Party Pictures

English David as Spike from Buffy

The Sailor Scouts.

And Holly as a Bunny.

"It has to start somewhere, it has to start sometime, what better place then here? What better time then now?"

Ride the Spiral

Tales From Japan

Well I suppose I should tell you what I've been up too.

Firstly the Halloween party. I have never been to a Halloween party, but if they are all as good as this then I have been missing out. Well most people dressed up, and there was some really good costumes. I went as local baseball player Fukudome who is popular amongst the exchange students because of his last name (that's right Fuck you! Do Me!). I knew I brought half my uniform over to this country for good reason. Mark's costume was fucking sweet, as the 80s tennis player with high short shorts, sweat bands and a jacket that said fanny on it (fuck yeah). Scariest and funniest costume goes to Ed going as Sailor Moon.

Well we all gathered and took pictures and ate what food there was (they cut up all the apples which were meant for bobbing!!). Then we got into the drinking, and Mark brought down his beefy stereo from his room and moved it into the courtyard. Whacked on the mix tape from the auction and we had ourselves a fucking dance party. I reckon we would have had 40 people dancing, better then any night club, everyone was having a great time. People encouraged other people to get up and dance and they all had fun. I was the only one who got a Chinese girl dancing though, yay me!
Basically it was so good, we are planning another similar party sometime this month. Definitely in top 3 nights here so far.

Friday night, well it was a good night, Hew is a funny bastard when he's drunk. Nispah.

Sat afternoon Baseball practice with the University club, these cats can play, definitely a higher level then myself, although I try to hold my own as best I can. Batting was a bit of nightmare again, their pitches don’t give you any freebies that’s fore sure. Also they crank up that automatic pitching machine and put it really close to the plate, by the time I got my eye in my turn was over. I will be patient, I don’t usually train like this in Aus, so I think I will catch up soon enough.

Sat night we went out to a Korean restaurant with Teho excited to be taking us to a place where we can taste his homelands food. The food was fucking hot and spicy, that's all I can say, it was nice but fucking hot and spicy. The main thing was that we ordered all you can drink for an hour and a half. Man I think they were sorry they ever saw the likes of us, we aren’t any Japanese lightweights. I had 10 drinks, I think Hew and Matt and Teho had the same, don’t know how many John and Mark had, and Krystal, but they had a few, Wes won with 12 though. (Note: I really think these drinks were watered down, 10 drinks in an hour and a half would usually have me on the floor).
So in our happy state we caught the series of trains and buses which is the norm, back to a party at Ben's place at Proxy, seemed like fun although I didn’t stay very long cause I had to get up for baseball at 6:30 the next day.

Next day, after getting up really early I headed off to the game with Yuusuke (this is a local team I have joined not the university club, I think I may have joined 3 teams since coming to Japan.) Well in short we lost 7-4, I didn’t play badly just not super like I think they were expecting after last weeks performance, I didn’t make and error, but I only hit 1 from 3 (batting is fucking getting to me over here, if you don’t hit the rubber ball square in the middle you just get out, also Japanese pitchers throw shit load more curves then in Australia, come on you pussies through me one down the middle). That was their last game of the season, and I think could be my last game over here. Well I enjoyed the experience, thanks guys.

Then we went to Teho’s and watched Mystic River, good moofie, I liked it. Then dinner, and then I’m pretty much writing a blog.

Well there’s an update.

Spiral..Ride...etc.

if you guess what this is a picture of, you win it :)

the story of buttons

the other day, whilst successfully procrastinating, i decided to clean the lismore clay/ocre off my cosmetics bag (which has stained it for the past 3 months) when i peered inside the apparently empty bag, i found a french 2 euro cent piece. strange? not really i did have that bag with me on my trip to france. but it got me thinking, where the hell is my button collection?
i searched for (quite literally) hours and gave up thinking that i must have put it somewhere in my mums sewing room.
on searching for this photo of me dipping jo 20 mins later i found my button collection and have now moved it to a very quaint, heart-shaped tin that i got from a chocolatier in germany.
Moral: the tin needs more buttons (in the australian sense of the word, in case anyone thought that it was a badge collection) so if anyone finds/looks for/accidently pulls off/intentionally pulls off any buttons, i would gladly accept them.

also, farewell marty. i bid you "chalk" as you step out into the wide, consumerist world. GO CHARLESTOWN LIBRARY! oh, i cant wait till your 21st! neither can kiggles. we were talking about it over oysters yesterday.

and, i hereby propose that everyone take to lymeric writing. it's therepudic and simple. heres one i prepared earlier:
there was an old man named Snort
who was summoned to sit in the court
he yelled out, "Set!"
when the ball hit the net
(he was never a novice at sport).

ich freue mich auf's naechstes mal.
hatter.

Oh god. Turn thine spiteful gaze not on my muffin.

Carpe Dium!

Well kids this is it. This is my second to last day as a student at the university of Newcastle. Its been a fun ride, like the pirates of the Caribbean ride at universal studious (or wherever it is). And like that ride, It must come to an end. And as I am shuttled through the gift shop, surrounded by overpriced markers of consumer greed, i think loving thoughts of all of you. They were the best of times; they were the worst of times. They were the okest of times. To all those I’ve met along the way:Thank you for providing me with distraction against the darkness of uni.
Thanks for helping me NOT do countless essays and reports.
Thanks for countless 8 hour days spent at the Tanner bar, just sitting talking to a string of strangers and friends (and Jake Robinson).
Thanks to all that attended the bar on the hill, helping me become patron (eat it Kells).
Thanks for Pucko.
Thanks for Monday Wedges.
Thanks for the Velvet Underground.
Thanks for the uni library (?)
Thanks for going overseas and abandoning me on this god forsaken shore (who loves ya baby!XOXO).
Thanks for showing me the Charlestown Library.
Thanks for putting up with my insane mood swings and more over, my semi sane actions on so many drunken days and nights.
Thanks for Vege lunch.
Thanks for the lift.
Thanks for having me…

So you all stay behind. But Kells And I Strike forth, a vanguard, striving into the brave unknown that is the "real world". Unless Kells does honours. The soft bitch.

As i sit downloading audio files by My favorite beat poets and writers (Kerouac, Burroughs, Ginsburg) and ignore the fact that I have 1000 words to write before tommorow. One last procrastination.

So thats it. Goodnight and goodbye. I'll see you all on Friday evening at the Pub, thought i must work till 11 first. But i shall drink. And I could uses some company so as not to become an alcoholic.

Ave... Morituri te salutant!

DUCK!

Dear Bloggers,

Now I have some words of wisdom:
Go and have fun! Now that you Uni work is all done. Horrrah!
Cheers,
Cheese

BTW. Please feel free to BLOG when your drunk - Mittens that post was very funny. Who is Audrey?

p.s - those of you not blogging i will email you and MAKE YOU BLOG about JELLY!!!!!

Oh Mark! How Can I Thank Thee

Oh Mark! How Can I Thank Thee? For letting me in...I know, I will blog you a thank you. When I'm drunk, why Not? Because I wouldn't do it while I was sober, ho ho he he.

Well Thank you, I thank you this much. Imagine that my arms were outstretched when you read this. Oh, and I hope the goodnight from Audrey made it all better, although you didnt say anything and pretty much turned around and dissed us and went to bed. But that doesnt mean we dont love you, or even hate you. No. What would give you that idea, ho ho he he. Well I'm going to have some water now, probably see you in a few days, good luck with that ball boy, hope he doesnt have flys eyes or whatever, ho ho he he.

Public Announcement # 1

Dear Bloggers,

By joining this site you get to hear about HARRY POTTER!!

I recieved an email today telling me to BUY Tickets to the movie that comes out in less than a months time! CLick: Harry Potter is Way Cool to find out MORE!



Is everyone looking forward to December? I am!
Bring it on!
1st of December: Harry Potter
3rd December: HOMEBAKE! And I get to miss the Costigan Christmas akward bonanza ( Step-family Chrstmas! - Sorry Joconut - you shoudl come to Homebake - or stay at Dave's house to escape)
After the 3rd I get to see Harry Potter again IN GOLD CLASS! Whoooo hoooo!

Then It is Christmas-tastic! I am already excited by the decorations!
Christmas: 25th!
26th: Chronicals of Naria! It looks really good! Horrahhh! More movies!

Okay! im a bit excited!
Cheese.

Google Magic

Wondering what I have accomplished so far in my life, I googled my own name. If my great-grandkids were to travel in their timemachine to the present day and googled my name, then they would find 7 results in googol Australia: (in order):

1: Australian University Games 2005 - This is me.
2: First Families Search Results - This is me if I was a convict sent to Victoria in yee olde days
3: East Coast Miniatures - Apparently I was ranked 622nd in 2004 for 40k battles. I didn't know this, and I am slightly disturbed that they have my name on their site (suggest legal action)
4: East Coast Miniatures - 589th for sportmanship (Evil Lincoln was 590th HaHa),
5: East Coast Miniatures - 625th for painting (even though only one or two of them would have had paint on them at the time - so how did i beat anyone?)
6: East Coast Miniatures - 637th overall.
7: 2004 U6C, D and E - No idea. It may be some bigpond tracking device trying to turn up all of my secrets so that I can never run for the presidency.

So there it is. Why don't you waste your time too and see what your pitiful life has amounted to.

The wrath of CORN

As my grandfather used to deny, today is not a good day to die
Here is a surefire strategy for you, noone defeats the yellow pikachu
Go CORN early and go CORN often, if you can't, get the stones you know you want them
No other tactic is its equal, soon you'll be master of Peurto Rico
If not at least you'll have some CORN

PS Why CORN and not corn? ask my left budgie I'm dissinterested

HOMEBAKE 2005 final line-up FINALLY!

Starring: A very special all star ‘best of’ performance by THE FINN BROTHERS • THE LIVING END • SOMETHING FOR KATE • BEN LEE • WOLFMOTHER • THE CAT EMPIRE • CUT COPY • COG • THE SAINTS • THE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS • DECODER RING • SARAH BLASKO • END OF FASHION • EVERMORE • THE GO-BETWEENS • PAUL MAC • THE DIRTY THREE • KATALYST & RU C.L • SNEAKY SOUND SYSTEM • KISSCHASY • WOLF & CUB • THE ROGUE TRADERS • ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI • PNAU • ALEX LLOYD • THE MESS HALL • THE HERD • AMIEL • P-MONEY • THE PRESETS • THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS • THE GRATES • DJ PERIL + SUBURBAN INTELLECT • NFA • LOCAL KNOWLEDGE • DAPPLED CITIES FLY • BRITISH INDIA • EXPATRIATE • THE SCARE • THE HOT LIES • THE GOLDEN AGE • DIE! DIE! DIE! • & THE HOPETOUN INCENTIVE BAND COMPETITION WINNER

oh yes oh yes oh yes. baby. yeah.
hey does anyone know if tin radio isnt running anymore? cause it's not comming up on my stereo and what was that new radio station launched about 4 sundays ago. its supposed to be indie. big city exile played at their launch if that helps...
if anyone needs to laugh at a *specified* different culture or needs anything translated this option is now available*

hoping I can clear the way by stepping through my shadow

Good evening
Firstly those who have written to me, I do appreciate it, but I barely write to my Mother, so please lower your expectations. Thank you. Also anyone who is in contact with Brad, can you remind him to visit my Mother as a favour to me (by this, I mean, him alone.)

Well the softball team won the first game, then went on to get beaten by a better side in the second game. I still had fun, and I think the team did aswell, we did very well for a team with no actual softball players.

I also played baseball on Sunday morning, and we won the game 6-5. I didnt make any errors in the field (at 2nd base) and I only got 1 from 3 in the hitting department, but luckily that 1 hit was over centre field when we had loaded bases and I got 3 guys home, but they left me stranded on 3rd. I think the team was happy with my performance, so I'm playing again this weekend.

Festival was really cool, maybe I will leave Mark to tell you about it (try to ignore the cynical spin he puts on everything and everyone in life) as I am suffering from a bit of a cold at the moment, and not thinking clearly.

"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground..." (the chorus is the point)

P.S Do not betray my words, it may seem like a good idea, but think twice. She does not want to be bothered by anyone else, do not disrespect my trust.

Ever embracing the random. Ride the Spiral.

I think Tim might appreciate this cartoon...

go cheese this site has taken off. last week there were 4 bloggers, now theres 11!

as chalk as my witness i proclaim randomness to the blog with duckytong as king and me making hats. this hat is for our lovely "editor"/omniscient blog creating diety, the sexy cheese. you can wear it to melbourne cup tomorrow honey.

is this hat postmodern?

Hello to all.

Top marks for those of you who have been posting! Well done!

Now my dear bloggers : would you like topics to discuss each week? OR do you want to carry on this random delight? If it is the former I will be happy to suggests the topics!

Okay dearies.

p.s - Kells, your post was funny. But I have the power to edit your posts whenever I like.... "The beauty of blogging, as compared to writing a book, is that no editor will be interfering with my random spelling and grammar ".

Nice sentiments. Too bad about the people

This blog started off with such good intentions. But it has seeminly degenerated into a mess of crazy ramblings and odd stories about neighbours or astronauts. Or cosmonauts. Whatever.
So bring it on.....................
Bring it on..................
every little tear....................
Bring it on
Every useless fear...............
Bring it on
All your shattered dreams.........

Sorry, Listening to the Bad Seeds today. Good procrastination nation music.


So anyway, someday Hatter, Someday you'll be as kewl as me....
But only with a shirt with a muffin on it.

Is anyone upset that they lost an hour? I feel raped. Soiled. Dirty.

What would Conners and Mittens like for Christmas. We will send them a Christmas gift. How about a koala nailed to Rolf Harris' left calf? Sounds good.

Ok i'll go do something else now.

Yours, with a fair amount of angst,

DUCK!

The day Man Walked on the Moon

On 20th July 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to earth and heard by millions.
But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: "good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On 5th July 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong.
This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. In 1938 when he was a kid in a small midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbour's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr.Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?
You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Charlie's words of Wisdom

Charlie is in his seventies, short, italian. Quite italian, really. And he has a brother who owns a lot of property in chicago....

1. Ladies, you're beautiful now. But then you go and get fat and wonder why your husbands leave you.

2. Never carry a purse in your handbag. It's too easy to steal. Instead, keep it down your bra. Noone will steal it from there. (and I'm sure checkout chicks like bosie sweat. Oh yeah)

3. Don't give money to poofters, as they will spend it on poofter things (what they are, and why they are different from anyone elses things, I don't know)

4. I apparently don't fight with the lad because "He is big, but you are small - but smart, eh?" (I would like to see him try and beat me up. Screw the Queen of Marksbury!1)

5. Beer is not good for your liver. Scotch, however, is fine.

eh. thats enough wisdom, for now.although, a note from my mother-"but you've got a bloke - you should be losing weight, not putting it on" 2
strike a blow for liberal thinking everywhere!

1. or even the marquis of queensbury, but i like doyle's version better.
2. in all fairness, this is out of character. and it was more a result of observations about young women, as opposed to an expectation.

AND I DON"T LIKE SEEING MY NEIGHBOUR NAKED

hey marty 9.85 gig on my itunes. one day, i will surpass you.
what is postmodernism? ive been looking for a book on it and i cant find one :( im sure any communications student that reads this will be able to help me as you all seem to be well versed.

Its like tourettes' but with lying

Hi my name is *EVIL LINCOLN* and my hobbies involve *MUTATING MARTIAN MARSH MONKEYS*. I also like *LONG MOONLIGHT WALKS*. I plan to *BUILD A MOBILE TERROR FORTRESS*, conquer the world using banana economics and *CREATE AN ARMY OF RADIO CONTROLLED HAMSTERS*. I am currently employed at *K-MART*.

I thought that this was very appropriate. Its by Douglas Adams (the guy who writes Dilbert. "hey Dilbert! What do you call a guy in middle management who moves up to upper management...A promotion" - Well they can't all be funny)

When I see news stories about people all over the world who are experiencing hardships, I worry about them, and I rack my brain wondering how I can make a difference. So I decided to start my own blog. That way I won't have time to think about other people. People who are trying to decide whether to create a blog or not go through a thought process much like this:
The world sure needs more of ME.

Maybe I'll shout more often so that people nearby can experience the joy of knowing my thoughts.

No, wait, shouting looks too crazy.

I know - I'll write down my daily thoughts and badger people to read them.
If only there was a description for this process that doesn't involve the words egomaniac or unnecessary.

What? It's called a blog? I'm there! The blogger's philosophy goes something like this:
Everything that I think about is more fascinating than the crap in your head. The beauty of blogging, as compared to writing a book, is that no editor will be interfering with my random spelling and grammar, my complete disregard for the facts, and my wandering sentences that seem to go on and on and never end so that you feel like you need to take a breath and clear your head before you can even consider making it to the end of the sentence that probably didn't need to be written anyhoo. If that doesn't inspire you to read my blog, I don't know what will.

YAY! Its trashdance again!

Wise words from William Burroughs

"Heroin is a vitamin; don't let anyone tell you different, Heroin IS a vitamin. There's nothing in the game plan that says all vitamins have to be good for you."

Mind you this is advice from a guy who shot his wife in the head while recreating that famous 'William Tell' scene. The apple, however, was unharmed.




So anyway, hows things Timmy boy. What exciting news do you bring of developments in the Orient. Thats spelt wrong but HEY ITS A PARTY. Yeah, you'll miss my birthday you mug. But i still love you, so much so that i'll post a picture of a cat.



Speak to you soon, but in the mean time...

DUCK!

a mad tribute

"I think that the surviving members of the Who should join up with the surviving Beatles, because they need a bassist and a drummer.That would be good. "

who couldn't love him?

Intolerance

I don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existence either. See I want to believe you, and I want to trust and I want to have faith to put away the dagger. MJK

Maybe we should post some of the stuff that we find in our Junk mail folders into our own personal blogs. Don't give strangers a bad name and annoy your fellow "Contributors".

To get relevant for a second...

When you have a single can of a 5% mixed alcoholic beverage, are you red in the face and completely wasted? Cause Japanese people are. Comments Warranted...

Nispah

When you fall from the light, there, surrounded in the darkness, you will see the schism I occupy, have no fear for I can lead you back. This is hope for all. TJDTN

Spiral Out, Keep Going!

dont read my last post, this ones better

tagged from candied stripes' journal. Itunes prophecy.

iTunes Prophecies: Go to your iTunes playlist and put it all on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and after each one press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
how's it feel? (panics)

2. Will I have a happy life?
at your best (sarah blasko)

3. What do my friends really think of me?
happy xmas (john lennon)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
everything is good for you (crowded house)

5. What does [insert significant other] think of me?
Ringo (i feel like...) (custard)

6. How can I make myself happiest?
modern life (rocket science)

7. What should I do with my life?
Berlin Chair (you am i)

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
cant stand me now (the libertines)

9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
lover's rock (the clash)

10. Will I ever have children?
trouble (you am i)

11. Will I die happy?
your algebra (the shins)

12. Can you give me some good advice?
love for sale (faker)

13. Do you know where your children are?
the walk (the cure)

14. What do you think happiness is?
about a girl (nirvana)

apparently my itunes is in love with a girl! ME! i did this on my own lj with my sad itunes playlist first and the answers were FREAKY! so i tried it with my happy playlist and this is what i got...doesnt make as much OBVIOUS sense as the last one, but if you read into it it's weird. do it it's fun.

cheeeeeesy...?

soon Marty will be 21 like me. then mark will be and eventually, cheese. at 21, one enters a new phase of life that involves having to be responsible about certain things (apparently). here are 21 things to think about, whether you or i agree or not (i dont quite get 16 and yes they are from one of those annoying email chain letters). discuss at will.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love ! deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Goldie

Can some someone buy me this tee shirt?


The fish looks just like my fish FRED!

this is my friend klaus. give his picture a caption.

how mad?

not quite jelly, but it wiggles. should it therefore be trusted?





does anyone else want one? so colourful.

This Is Her

This is Chika

Sick and weak from my condition, This lust, this vampyric addiction, To Her alone in full submission

Ride The Spiral

This! ...is Mittens

Like autumn leaves, His sense fell from him, An empty glass of himself, Shattered somewhere within, His thoughts like a hundred moths, Trapped in a lampshade, Somewhere within, Their wings banging and burning, On through endless nights, Forever awake he lies shaking and starving, Praying for someone to turn off the light - Zack De La Rocha

+++Thought For The Day+++

Be Strong In Your Ignorance

Ride The Spiral

Nispah

Welcome Mittens!

Hey there big spender!

Now you can Blog like the rest of us on this crazy blog!
horraahhh!

Welcome, Welcome...please blog mittens!

Is this mittens?

I miss mittens, especially the way he used to ring me up all the time to talk about stuff. Now I keep seeing him everywhere. Is this Mittens?

weird.

Mack: When you hear yourself talk, does it make sense to you?
Kevin: Sometimes.

idle threats.

Whenever my sister is being stupid, I don't bother with idle threats. (or Idol ones either.

I go straight in for the kill with kitchenware.

That scares her.

baka!

The beginning...

Well then, this is the beginning of the communal blog....
Where whoever is in the group can blog.

At the moment the community consists of Mark and Myself.

I need people's email addresses who want to join.
Okay,
Hop to it kids....email me.

P.s - the blog is from a quote from the Office. It makes me laugh.

I was going to make it :

Will there ever be a boy who can swim faster than a shark?

What do you think? Jelly or Shark.... you choose. Good ol' Gareth Keenan!

Please explain...

An explanation?