I don't like jelly. I don't trust the way it moves.

Some have said this is the best blog in the world. They lied. But it is pretty damn good! If you want to join please leave your email address and hopefully you will get a response.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

leftovers

i always enjoy leftovers for breakfast - anything from thai food to pizza, but i find that there aren't enough leftovers to satisfy. if only there was a cafe that served dinner foods on their breakfast menu.
after eating leftovers we shouldn't have to spoil that leftover taste with a piece of toast or a bowl of cereal.
on another note, i've lost my sd usb card reader somewhere between melbourne, albury, rutherglen and home. i am so annoyed.

Monday, February 27, 2006

after mating the male has, at best, a 50% chance of survival.

oh yes kiddies it is time for mad spiderfacts with david attenborough and the mad hatter!

* various types of spiders, such as the wolf spider and the long-jawed orb weaver can walk effortlessly across water. they are either descendants of jesus, or jesus was infact a spider.

*female spiders often eat their mate during or after mating.
moral: human males should not fraternise with spiders

*red backs and tube web spiders use trip lines of silk in order to catch their prey. An insect, such as an ant or woodlouse walks into the sticky silk of the tripline, sending vibrations back to the spider nestled in its web. the spider will register the vibrations and head in the direction from which they are comming in order to catch its prey (however if it is a woodlouse, the tube web spider will disgard the insect as it does not impress upon the spider's palate).

*male spiders are cunning. check this out:

the nursery web spider: mating habits
In an effort to make mating less hazardous, the male will catch an insect, wrap it up and carry it around until he finds a female. He then presents it to her and mates with the female while she is distracted by her meal. This lasts for about an hour or until the female has finished eating her gift.

i hope she ate him anyway. the raping bastard.

*the common black house spider can survive for months without any food or water. More evidence that jesus was a spider.



remember kids, insects (especially spiders) are cool. dont knock them cause for every one human on earth, there are 200million insects. they will get you.
watch life in the undergrowth 7.30pm Sundays, ABC

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

melbourne

i'm in melbourne. i wish i had brought friends down here to play with.
today i purchased speech bubble shaped post it notes. YES!!!!!

MEEPLES!!!

We are here in the wild in the hope of catching meeples in their natural environment. There are several varieties of meeple that are only differentiated by markings and temperment.
After travelling for several days, we camped near a french city and witnessed a meeple raid. This rare event was captured on film for the first time ever. You can see the meeples gathering in clans for the attack

Later that very day we saw the meeple mating ritual which involves a gymnastics display from the males. This shows the females their virlity and their co-operation skills

After camping for a month on the kitchen floor we filmed meeples gathering food from a carefully placed cake

Tune in next week when we determine if meeples have a plan for global conquest and if they will succeed

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

im not living, im just killing time

im so incredibly bored, that i decided to google the phrase/name "captain triangle" because of my love of the sea and my newly found fascination with tri-angular shapes. this is what i found:




his name is actually captain triangle and he brings a message of hope for us all. or perhaps only for some?

anyway, back to googling. when i googled pink jelly i got this:


pretty gross. anyone actually know what it is? a jird. no shit it's a baby jird. Cheese about
the dude on the beach with the pink jelly, as much as it looks like he's holding a giant pink dildo, i really think that it is a giant, gelatinous nipple.
im off to kill more stuff,
ange


*if you want to know exactly what, sorry who i killed, you can find out on my reinvented tea party blog

"pink jelly" image search

i did this in google and 10 out of the first 20 images were pictures of dildos, butt plugs and vibrators.
Maybe the man on the beach is carrying a giant pink dildo? with that he probably wouldn't even need his nipples tweaked.
on that note, i've always had a theory that men's nipples actually weigh heaps to help with balancing. woman have boobs so are alreay balanced out with their bums. but men don't so it must be the highly dense tissue in their nipples keeping them from falling backwards.

Monday, February 20, 2006

nipples

One day, while having a quiet drink with her
sex-ed officer Captain Feathersword, Cheese was told of the magical technique of nipple tweaking during foreplay. "But, however will i find this 'nipple' of which you speak Captain?" inquired our Cheese. " 'ere," growled Feathersword, " Ay weel show thee an this 'ere subject," he slurred as he scuttled towards Mark. "No Captain!" advised Cheese sternly. He will never do! Mark does not believe in pre-marital sex. His nipple will not even BEGIN to know how to be tweaked!!"





"Let us instead harass a strapping young lad who never stops mentioning his sexual drive, Todd."
Cheese leaped out of her seat and flung herself across the room onto Todd's back. After much groping, she was confused at finding no nipples on his back at all.
Seeing this display, Cheese's friend Ange took it upon herself to intervene.









Ange informed Cheese on where male nipples are located. "But that makes no sense whatsoever!" cried Cheese, and she was absolutely correct. Why on earth should males have nipples when they have no mammory glands? Cheese pondered this thought and expressed another, "Imagine though, what male chests would look like if they had no nipples," said Cheese. This thought shocked and appalled both girls so thoroughly that they never spoke of such nonsense ever again.







After searching for hours, Cheese again found Todd and subsequently tweaked his nipple. She was amazed that Angela's explicit discription of a nipple's location enabled her to find Todd's nipple through his shirt.
Todd had a chick sitting on his lap and thus did not even feel his nipple being tweaked.
Kiggles giggled.


THE END

Think Pink!

Yay for today!

Today is the first day of Pink Jelly!
I have started to realise the lack of enthusiam for this wonderful blog!
So to conteract this I have changed the blog colour to PINK!
Hopefully you who call yourselves contributers will return to your former glory NOW that the blog has re-invented itself (ala kylie and Madonna)!

Enjoy and Embrace the new PINK Jelly!

Also enjoy this random photo that google gave me when I typed in Pink Jelly:
What is the man carrying? Discuss.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My Threadless.com Submission

Monday, February 13, 2006

everything is good for you if it doesnt kill you

YESSSSS! i got second in the post tally! it is however notable to mention that, whilst attempting to post my 12th (this post), i totally forgot my username because i havnt been on jelly in so long. which goes to show that i am the biggest nerd ever...also because only the moderator managed to beat me lol
on that note, i am now 6 posts behind you cheese...watch your back ;)

preview of my next post: I GOT A NEW CAR!!! YAY!

why not to eat gelatinous products - like jelly!!!

On a commercial scale, gelatin is made from by-products of the meat and leather industry, mainly pork skins, pork and cattle bones, or split cattle hides. Contrary to popular belief, horns and hooves are not commonly used. The raw materials are prepared by different curing, acid, and alkali processes which are employed to extract the dried collagen hydrolysate and which may take several weeks. The worldwide production amounts to 250,000 tons per year.

Friday, February 10, 2006

I don't like jelly. I don't trust the way it moves.

No more sunny Cobar for me! Until April!
Yay!

Monday, February 06, 2006

movies

TUESDAY NIGHT= MOVIE NIGHT!
WHAT SHALL WE SEE?

Greater Union, Glendale
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:30am, 1:15pm, 4:00pm, 6:40pm, 9:20pm

Hoyts, Charlestown
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:30am, 1:10pm, 3:50pm, 6:30pm, 9:00pm

Showcase Cinemas, Newcastle
Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel)
M - 116minsScreening Times: 4:45pm
Mrs Henderson Presents
M - 99minsScreening Times: 10:40am, 6:45pm
Shopgirl
M - 100minsScreening Times: 12:30pm, 4:45pm
The Family Stone
M - 103minsScreening Times: 2:30pm, 8:45pm
The Producers
M - 134minsScreening Times: 4:15pm
Walk the Line
M - 130minsScreening Times: 10:45am, 1:05pm, 6:45pm, 9:00pm

Tower Greater Union, Newcastle
Good Night, and Good Luck
PG - 93minsScreening Times: 10:15am, 12:15pm, 2:15pm, 7:00pm, 9:00pm